Despite releasing a bevy of albums since her 1999 debut CD, "...Baby One More Time," it's been hard to shake off that inaugural image of Britney Spears slutting it up in a Catholic school girl uniform. Fortunately - or perhaps disturbingly - "In The Zone" presents Ms. Spears outside of her plaid skirt and getting into something a little more kinky. Namely, masturbation.
That's right, kids. "Touch Of My Hand" - inarguably the most sensual track on this pop-tart's latest album - is all about Britney being caught red-handed (or perhaps red-dildoed?) in self-indulgent reverie, singing: "I just discovered imagination's taking over / another day without my lover / the more I understand the touch of my hand." One can only imagine the brainstorming session that took place between an apparently horned-up Spears and the three other writers who penned the song. Though it's an exquisitely produced track, the entire album is a clear indictment of one fact: Britney needs to get laid. And fast!
OK, so perhaps recording a song devoted entirely to "clicking the mouse" is going a step too far - but who on this campus is honestly satisfied with his or her sex life? The degree to which an AU student will relate to "In The Zone" is truly astounding. Take, for instance, the track "Early Mornin'," on which Britney laments a misconceived drunken hook-up: "Got drunk 'til the break of dawn, hooked up with a guy named Joe, passed out on the couch," she sings, almost matter-of-factly. (At this very moment, that girl who passed out in the Anderson 3-North lounge is heading out to buy this album!)
Once interesting only to high school girls and - secretly - your dad, Britney Spears has finally produced an album that any sexually active, vaguely alcoholic college student can relate to.
