On Oct. 13, 2003, I was caught saying "Welcome to the American University," through a megaphone out of a window in Hughes Hall around midday. I would like to take this opportunity to first off apologize to anyone who may have heard me making this statement, again for those of you who forgot, "Welcome to the American University," and being offended by it, and secondly state what happened after the fact for those of you who happen to care.
At my counsel meeting, I was told that by being honest and owning up to my actions, I would receive a lesser charge. So that's what I did. I pleaded guilty and took all of the blame. Well, unfortunately for me, I was tricked. Instead of receiving a letter telling me to cut it out, I received censure from now until April 4, 2004, which happens to be the highest punishment before removal from the dorm, but also having to write a four page paper on civility. Civility? I've got your civility right here.
For this paper I was given an excerpt from a book entitled Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct. This excerpt is perhaps one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read in my entire life and if you happen to be looking for a good laugh, I would highly recommend it. The first point made by this book states that "Sometimes we confuse having fun with being happy." This is one of the most absurd points I have ever heard. I have never met someone who when they are having fun is not happy. I know for a fact that some people, having fun is happiness. I for one can attest to this.
I realize there are certain people in this world that consider living in a two-room apartment with a DVD collection and a menial job working in a small office with fluorescent lighting happiness - it's not. These are meaningless objects that people surround themselves with to emulate that feeling of happiness. It is my feeling that having fun makes one happy and as long as having fun continues to make me happy, I will keep on having fun, and when it's time to party, we're going to party hard.
Unfortunately there are rules here at American University that prevent students from having fun, and I know now that I broke one of these rules. I understand that what I did by the University's standards was "wrong." I will not however let the fact slip by that I am being punished more severely than students caught drinking alcohol would be. The second point in this excerpt states that "Civility is liberating," and "It frees us from slavery to self absorption, impulse and mood." This quote is ridiculous. Civility is slavery. It is slavery to having free will and expression and also to having a good time. Now I'm not saying that all civility is stupid, only the civility that prevents one from being happy and expressing themselves.
The excerpt that I was given to write my paper on also states that "The unruly, the brazen and the reckless give self-expression a bad name." I guess that this means not only does the University consider me unruly, brazen and reckless, but I also apparently give self-expression a bad name. Well I'm sorry I said "Welcome to the American University," out of a window, but at least I wasn't running around the Quad naked in the name of "self-expression," (which would have gotten me a lesser punishment).
So to make a long story short, here's what the American University has taught me through their judicial process:
A) Don't shout out of a window on campus with a megaphone (Unless you really want to have that laugh from reading "Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct.")
B) If you get caught, don't trust your counselor.
C) Don't own up to your actions.
D) Have fun getting drunk, 'cause hey, if you get caught at least your punishment won't be as bad as the jerk who was shouting "Welcome to the American University" out of a window.
Jordan T. Landry is a sophomore in the School of Public Affairs.
