Dear Erin,
As any self-respecting student knows, exams are here! I'm totally freaking out! What if I fail? What if I crack under the stress? What do I do to get through exam week?!
-Loony in Letts Hall
Dear Loony,
From the looks of it, you've already cracked under the stress. "Letts" chill out a sec, OK? Exams are a piece of cake. I've slept through three of them, forgotten about one of them, and swear to this day that my BIO-I final was written in Chinese. But look at me! I will still be getting my diploma this May (unless AU downsizes again, possibly bypassing paper degrees entirely and instead resorting to word of mouth).
Clearly, any idiot can survive exam week. Even you. Here are my tips:
-Cram. When you get to the exam it will be like having an open notebook in your brain. Additionally, you will forget all of it shortly thereafter. Now you'll have an A and a lot more room in your brain for important stuff, like the costs of various canned goods should you ever make it to "The Price is Right." Using this method, you can prove once and for all that an AU degree really is worth nothing.
-All-nighters. An exam week staple, all-nighters are inevitable for everyone (except people who go to class and study). The key to a good all-nighter is using your day time wisely. Get as much sleep as possible because you are going to be up all night studying.
-Being sick is no fun, but it's bound to happen during exam week for obvious reasons: God hates you. You need to turn to modern medicine to keep you up and running. Most people go out and buy non-drowsy cough medicine. Big mistake. Though regular cough medicine says it "may cause marked drowsiness," few people know that it may also cause "excitability." And isn't that just the potentially devastating chance you want to take during exam week?
So relax, kid! Exams are a special time of year. The time of year you can stop being jealous of Georgetown kids. They're probably actually studying.
