Welcome to Mooseport
*
PG-13, 115 m Staring Ray Romano, Gene Hackman and Maura Tierney. Directed by Donald Petrie. Opens tomorrow.
Donald Petrie's biggest mistake of his career was trusting Ray Romano's ability to act. Nobody wants to see "Everybody Loves Raymond" any more than they have to, especially not for today's astronomical ticket prices. Petrie's skill as a director has shown through on numerous occasions with films like "Grumpy Old Men" (1993) and "How to Love a Guy in Ten Days" (2003), but he fails miserably in "Welcome to Mooseport."
The calamity of "Mooseport" takes place in a small town in Maine where the locals have about as much IQ as the animal after which the town is named. Hackman plays a financially strapped ex-president of the United States named Monroe Cole who moves to Mooseport after an exhausting divorce with his wife, Charlotte Cole (Christine Baranski). He soon discovers that the town is without a mayor and decides to run to win over Handy Harrison's (Romano) long-time girlfriend Sally Mannis (Maura Tierney). Jealousy rears its ugly mug and forces Harrison to join in the running. The result is a dry and overly unfunny comedy about small-town values and big-time politicians.
Most dominant among themes in "Mooseport" demonstrates how politics is a dirty business best left to those who can lie through their teeth. It is no coincidence that the film is being released during an election year where real votes will decide the fate of the United States. At the end of the film, the election hangs on a single vote - no doubt a cunning ploy to convince young voters that every one counts, so be sure to hit the polls.
Continuing the insanity is a laundry list of unaddressed elements that confuse, and ultimately anger the viewer. First is the pretty blonde bimbo who struts around Handy's shop in tight-fitting garb and makes several passes at him. Handy never notices the knock-out because he is too busy worrying about his significantly less-attractive girlfriend. The sentiment is admirable: Telling America to concentrate on substance rather than style. However, it goes completely against the Hollywood norm.
Further, there is a certain publicist of President Cole's played by Fred Savage (yes, Fred Savage) who is repeatedly ridiculed by Cole and the rest of his staff. He displays constant animosity toward the president and secretly plans to leave his employer. Nothing ever seems to come of this odd dynamic and leaves the audience unfulfilled.
"Mooseport," more than anything else, is just a stupid movie, due mostly to the lack of logic. What president would ever agree to be mayor of a nothing town that he rarely goes to even though he has a vacation home there?
One of the lowest points of the film comes in very medieval display, when Cole and Handy agree to play a round of golf for the "possession" of Handy's girlfriend. Suffice to say this isn't exactly 21st century behavior.
