A good friend of mine hasn't been on a date in more than five years. He's 25 years old. I met another man at the bar this weekend who's 26. He rarely leaves the house. Both stay home at night, playing video games, watching movies and sulking. When I asked them why they don't go out and meet people, they both spoke about hierarchies of individuals, stating that they fall at the bottom of the list.
I've been thinking about what they said, and then it came to me. We live in a society where how you dress and what you do is sometimes more important than who you are. In that, I mean that my friends lack belief in themselves because they don't think they are worthy of love. They are untouchables, and to one extent, I think there is a little of both of them in all of us.
When I was a child, my sister and I used to play tag, roll around in mud pits and pour salt onto slugs. We'd spend hours listening to Cyndi Lauper tapes, dancing around this huge oak tree. The best thing about this tree was climbing to the very top - where you could see the world and the world would embrace you in its arms. At the top, you were untouchable, in a magical land where there was no world dissent and everybody got along.
For years I played on that tree, until a couple years ago when a company knocked it down. Now, all that remains is this tiny stump. When I go back to my house I often return to this stump and stare. This magical stump held a world that to my sister and me seemed infinite - a world that has disappeared with responsibility and age.
It's funny sometimes how things we used to be so proud of can lose their excitement. I remember when Garbage Pail Kids ruled the schoolyard and cuffing pants was cool. In a larger sense, though, I think that this drive is lost when we become accustomed to the present.
Deep down my friends know that they aren't untouchable. They know that they can meet people, make new friends and fall in love. But something is stopping them. They don't believe anymore. Although monsters don't scare them, they've begun to scare themselves by thinking they aren't able to give or receive love. The excitement was lost along the way.
As we grow older and search for love it's too easy to forget how exciting we are as individuals. We focus on school, boyfriends and girlfriends, parents and money. But how often do we give ourselves time to reflect on ourselves? It is this that makes us all untouchable. Something within us, maybe our lack of imagination, causes us to block out others in our own defense. Rather than go out and explore, we turn inward.
Deep down, I think we're all untouchable. We hide our feelings, our thoughts, and often don't speak when we ought to. I think of some of my classes where students are afraid to murmur a word. Not so much because they don't understand, but because they are afraid of their peers' reactions. My friends are untouchable, and I think a part of me is as well, but I think maybe we're all struggling with our identities, in a world that's no longer make-believe.
