Comedy Central's "Straight Plan for the Gay Man" might have seemed like a good idea on paper. Its concept is an obvious and inevitable rip-off of Bravo's "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy": A fraternity of straight comedians - the so-called "Flab Four" - help a gay man achieve his dream of becoming a pot-bellied, beer-guzzling booty worshiper. Curing homosexuality through reparative therapy has never seemed so fun!
But like most shows meant to portray unabashed white-bred masculinity - "The Man Show," for instance - "Straight Plan" comes across as shameless, phony and rehearsed. In one scene, Curtis Gwinn (inexplicably billed as the "Environment Guy") advises viewers to rummage through dumpsters for hidden discarded treasures. And later in the show, Billy "Appearance Guy" Merritt exposes a scandalized upscale fashion salesman to the bounty of threadbare sweatpants and used underwear at a New York City thrift store. Evidently, the first step toward machismo is pretending to be homeless, at least according to the Flab Four.
Unless self-deprecating bachelors are up your alley, the real charmers of "Straight Plan" are the makeover victims, who put their best Prada loafer forward when saddling up to the Flab Four's testosterone buffet. During a visit to a shooting range (Heterosexual Clich No. 352), limp-wristed Jonathan mutters a vindictive Bette Davis quote before firing his semiautomatic. The Flab Four glare at him blankly and dumbly.
"You can't get any tougher than Bette Davis," Jonathan says, and given the sad sacks of ersatz masculinity that surround him, he's absolutely right.
Dismayingly, the men of "Straight Plan" are so busy advocating plaid button-down shirts and bar soap that they overlook the funniest moment of all: After a shift in a meatpacking plant (Thinly Veiled Situational Pun No. 571), it's Rob "Culture Guy" Riggle - not Jonathan - who is pegged by plant workers as gay.
With no sense of humor, irony or purpose, "Straight Plan" is just another uninspired contribution to the flash-in-the-pan genre of the battle of the sexualities programming.
