With the acquisition of Alex Rodriguez, Kevin Brown, Gary Sheffield and others, the New York Yankees have all but assured themselves of a World Series championship this year. Let's be honest, a gay couple in Boston has a better chance of getting rings than the Red Sox. That said, nothing is ever certain in baseball, and there are still five months until the trade deadline. With that in mind, here are the top 10 transactions the Yankees could still make this season.
10. Shore up the remaining hole in the lineup by trading Jon Lieber to the NBA's Cleveland Cavaliers for LeBron James.
9. Sign New England Patriots placekicker Adam Vinatieri for those high-pressure situations.
8. Bribe baseball Commissioner Bud Selig to implement a BCS-like system in baseball, based on a computer analysis of payroll.
7. Trade for Nomar Garciaparra to play second base.
6. In response to losing last year's World Series to the Marlins, buy Florida. Not the team, the state.
5. Pay Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein's babysitter to put him to bed without supper.
4. Cut out the middleman and hire a team goldsmith to make championship rings.
3. OK, the big plan for Game 7 of the American League Championship Series worked. Now they can pay off their phone bill, so AT&T will reconnect the visiting dugout's bullpen phone.
2. As a response to the Yankees' crosstown rival and its big-headed mascot Mr. Met, bring back Don Zimmer to be a team mascot.
1. Get George W. Bush and John Kerry on payroll, just in case.
This is compiled for every Thursday edition by the Eagle Sports staff. Have a Countdown idea? E-mail it to: Sports@TheEagleOnline.com.
