Colon Hennae turned down the position of Student Confederation president to pursue an opportunity studying abroad at Oxford University.
Hannae announced his decision yesterday on several napkins left on tables in the Marketplace that he will not be serving AU's student government, or the SC for that matter.
"I didn't really want to win," Hannae said. "Why do you think I burned my sign? Three times?!"
Outgoing President Rick Toolzerlli will once again be picking up the slack. He will hand the reins over to himself on April 18 and begin serving his second term.
"I will need to channel the energy of former two-term president Ben Kiberaj," Toolzerlli said.
Toolzerlli followed with an apology to everybody he poked fun at in his State of the Campus address.
"Except SUB," he added. "They frighten me."
Incoming Vice President Jake Stromboli said he was open to the decision, citing the fact that Toolzerlli is also a "mega-Republican."
However, some students were disappointed.
"I liked the 'ticket'," said Mikey McMikenstein, an NSIS sophomore. "Now we don't have the Colon twins anymore."
SPA freshman Janet Pelosi was dismayed to learn that the change would not improve her chances of getting Bob Dylan tickets.
AU President Len Badner applauded the decision, calling Toolzerlli the son he never had.
"He brings a measure of dignity to this campus that I haven't seen since..." Badner then trailed off; trying to remember the last time he had been on campus.
