Who's ready for some football? Er, make that Amerikaner fussball.
If you answered no to this question, it's probably because you don't live in Germany. And even if you do live in that country across the pond, chances are you probably answered no anyway.
Football interest in the States this time of year is typically a colossal orgy of mock NFL drafts and countdowns to spring mini-camps. But in Europe, the sport draws attention for what's happening on the field.
Yes, opening weekend for NFL Europe is upon us. While this weekend Americans will gather round televisions to see the high point of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays' season, up to 12,000 Europeans will gather in a few soccer stadiums to watch mediocre football.
The NFL, unlike the rest of the four major leagues, has extended its name to another continent. Baseball players might develop in Japan, and basketball and hockey players hone their skills in Europe, but only football players can actually play for a U.S. team in another country.
But it's more than just football players who are over there in Europe. It's a full-scale cultural assault by the United States on the Old World. School of International Service students, if you have somehow lowered your standards enough to read the back page of this newspaper, throw away all your previous positions on cultural imperialism!
Hope for the resurrection of the late, great intellectual Edward Said for exhaustive commentary on this identity crisis! It is the NFL, not McDonald's and Coca-Cola, that is undercutting the indigenous values of Europe.
The NFL is not just promoting an American sport across the continent. It is promoting the actual spirit of the league, replete with images of hard-working, battle-worn males. Perhaps the image of the toiling proletariat is the reason that four of the six teams in the league are in Germany, home of Karl Marx.
The spirit of the NFL also includes the image of the buxom female cheerleader, which is hardly spared in its European counterpart. Just go to the Web site of the Scottish Claymores, and what do you see but a large chest Scotswoman.
I was recently in Berlin, home of the two-time World Bowl Champion Thunder, and witnessed outside Olympic Stadium a promotional photo shoot of the team's cheerleaders.
I'm sure tailgating and mass consumption of bratwurst in the parking lot is next. It's Americanization of Germany not seen since the post-World War II occupation.
Not only is the team attempting to culturally bankrupt Germany and Scotland, but the Netherlands as well. The Amsterdam Admirals may be an element of the imperializing of Holland, but this might not bode well for football fans in the United States.
With the country's renowned lax drug laws, Amsterdam could become the most popular place to play football in the world. The NFL might experience an exodus of talent as players head to a place where drug possession will never be the headline.
However, one place you won't see an NFL Europe team is in France, which is not exactly a surprise. Considering the recent interest in "Freedom Fries" by some U.S. politicians, it wouldn't be a shock if federal legislation was already underway to prevent this from ever happening.
After all, it may be the "No Fun League" in the States, but across the Atlantic, the "No French League" might just hit a chord.
