Last Wednesday, I spent nearly the entire day dealing with the black hole known as the University bureaucracy, principally Financial Aid and the School of International Service Undergraduate Advising Office.
This battle could not have come at a worse time, since Wednesday was my day to register for fall classes. First in my long day of the war against the AU bureaucracy was the Financial Aid Office. Mention of this office on campus brings a visceral response comparable to using the bathroom with no success.
I arrived at the Financial Aid Office to get the "stop" taken off my account so I could register. The school claimed I owed them $1,400. I still don't understand the details of the problem, but that's another editorial.
To make a long story short, I receive an outside scholarship once per semester. I found that the fall scholarship was combined with a cash payment. This resulted in the University thinking I had not received my scholarship. To top it off, since I am a transfer student I was not receiving the maximum loan amount allowed for a junior, so they gave me the maximum amount allowed for juniors. How better could AU possibly help me than loan me more money for which I will owe interest?
Tick, tock, tick, tock, my busy day is being easily wasted away, lost in a galaxy far far away, where Darth Vader is the chief of Financial Aid and I am Luke Skywalker trying to defeat the Empire.
At this point, I believe my problems are over, but oh, no no no. This is AU, where the staff is paid to make you chase your tail. I go to my laptop and try to register, and see that the computer network (which I believe is patched together with duct tape and saran wrap) won't allow me to register. This message pops up on the screen: "Priority registration is not yet allowed for athletes. Priority registration has not yet begun for Washington Semester students." Yada yada yada. Judging by my physical shape, I'm definitely not an athlete, and I am certainly not a Washington Semester student. Why am I seeing these messages then? Somebody must have sent a computer virus named "ScrewTheStudent" through the AU computer network.
At this point, I'm ready to lead a democratic revolution against the administration of the University. After that, I would declare a permanent tuition remission for all students and turn Financial Aid into a bar where students can spend their tuition remission money. Wait, I somehow have ended up in that place called "Perfect." Back to reality I go.
I next called the registrar and summarized the situation, and he responded by telling me that for a summer course I took in 2003, I needed a permit to study at another institution in order for my summer course credit to count. Seeing as how nobody informed me of this fact before I arrived at AU, I seriously considered reaching through the phone and throttling the man on the other end until all my tuition came out of him.
My next step was to walk over to the SIS Undergraduate Advising Office to see my adviser, who was the most helpful person I had encountered all day (you know who you are, and you saved the day for me). I went into the person's office and explained my situation, and this person responded with something to the effect of: "he (the registrar) is feeding you a line of bull." That's for sure. I don't know what my adviser did, but this person must have used the Force on the draconian bureaucracy. I say this because after my adviser was done, the person allowed me to use an office computer in order to see if I could register for classes.
I sat down at my adviser's computer for the moment of truth, to see if the battle had been won after a day of frustration, yelling, cursing and praying. I selected the class I needed to register for and clicked 'submit.' I held my breath for a seemingly endless period of time (where I almost passed out because of recent AU computer network slowness). Finally I exhaled at the most beautiful sight I had seen all day, the success of being able to register.
This is not an isolated incident. Many students have been through the madness I have. There is no doubt that the University staff tries hard, but the mystical force of the universe makes this place unbearable sometimes. I'm calling for a 16th point to Ladner's plan: Fix the bureaucratic mess. It will make everyone happier across the board. I'm going to head back to "Perfect"
