CONNIE: SWF seeks a sophomore year packed with candlelit dinners, long walks on the Quad, and sexual escapades. Looking for men who believe dinner and a movie before sex are optional, but a strong margarita is not. Salsa and swing-dancing skills, intellectual conversations and a willingness to fulfill sexual fantasies are preferred. A journalism major and international communications minor, this girl's specialty is no-strings-attached manizing.
JESSICA: SWF seeks a senior year of enticing conversation and delicious sex. Looking for readers who enjoy raunchy yet honest stories about college dating and sex from women working and sleeping their way through Washington. Looking for a man who appreciates a thorough Brazilian bikini wax, talking dirty at work and sex in public places. As a journalism major and women's studies minor, freshly single and newly legal, I am ready to hit the town.
Advice from the both of us for the fresh meat (aka freshmen):
1. A blowjob won't buy you a boyfriend. As freshmen, it's important to know that sex in college can be just that: only sex. It won't get you a boyfriend, or even a latt? buddy.
There are exceptions, but if you agree to give him head behind the frat house or get hot and heavy after your first few ceramics classes, swallowing won't make him your Prince Charming. Rather, this might make you that girl who gave into temptation and earned a reputation. And at a small school, a little sex can evolve into a lot of Marketplace scandal.
2. Thou shalt not screw thy neighbor. The boy or girl next door may satisfy the short-term desire, for a late night cuddle.
But when the hookup ends and the gossip begins, you'll be sorry that Mr. Small Penis or Ms. Stalker happens to live next door. With thin dorm walls, you'll hear and possibly see their next sexual escapade. You are forced to see them constantly, and watching them parade down the hall in their tiny towel may be salt in the wounds. There are some rare cases when next-door romance ends in a functional relationship or fuck buddy, but most end in regret.
3. Beware of blurred vision. AU may have high admission standards, but your standards might not stay as lofty as they were during high school.
Ever heard the term "AU Goggles"? They bear a striking resemblance to beer goggles, except for one difference: AU Goggles are always on.
AU's girl-to-guy ratio is a little off balance. Thus, chicks at AU typically decrease their standards for potential hook-ups. Others lower their morals in order to hook up with "good guys" who are already taken.
Guys at AU are just as bad. They look for any girls who don't know about their sketchy pasts, and consequently lower their standards as well.
Tackle AU Goggles the same way you (should) approach beer goggles: decide on your standards before you indulge.
4. Umm ... what's that? AU is a small campus, and diseases spread faster than rumors on a Monday morning.
Your health is at risk every time you engage in a sexual act with another person. Most people don't get tested regularly, if at all, for STDs.
If you are a sexually active person, it is your responsibility to be well-informed about both the symptoms of STDs and how they are transmitted.
Use protection every time. Condoms and dental dams are the only ways to reduce your risk of contracting an STD that could ruin your health, not to mention your reputation and sex life.
For information on STDs and birth control, visit Planned Parenthood's Web site, www.ppmw.org, or Sex, Etc. at www.sxetc.org. For information on anonymous testing visit the Whitman Walker Clinic's Web site at www.wwc.org.
Stay safe and sample everything the college buffet has to offer.
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