"I'm a cop, you idiot!" - Arnold Schwarzenegger, on www.celebrityprankcalls.com, to a Gateway computer phone operator, when asked if he had spoken with technical support before.
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In the category of Things Least Likely to Be Seen from a Metrobus: Juan Valdez and his Colombian coffee mule. But that's exactly who passengers on the 16Y bus saw Monday evening outside of the grand opening of the Juan Valdez coffee shop at 19th and F streets in Foggy Bottom. Valdez, played by actor Carlos Sanchez, and his four-hoofed friend were having publicity shots taken with the many formally dressed Washingtonians who turned out for the event. The character and the stores are the public face of the Colombian Coffee Growers' Federation. The D.C location is its first outlet outside of Colombia, and the federation plans to open another shop in New York City on Sept. 28, followed by ones in Los Angeles, Chicago and Miami. By 2007, the federation hopes to have 200 to 300 Juan Valdez coffee shops worldwide. Finally, someone's making a run - or plod, if you're a mule - for Starbucks. (Federation information gleaned from Reuters.)
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Speaking of "jackassery," as GQ puts it, there was one wonderful example in the Tunnel Wednesday afternoon. He was in his Toyota SUV-complete with tinted windows, ski rack and rooftop headlights. At the stop sign in front of Megabytes Cafe, the car in front of him was dropping someone off. Instead of waiting eight seconds patiently, Mr. SUV leaned on his horn, startling everyone in the Tunnel. After the shaken car in front of him drove away, Mr. SUV came to a stop at the sign at the other end of the Tunnel and chatted with a friend who was passing by on foot, holding up traffic behind him. Maybe GQ wasn't that far off.
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The Keeping College Students' Wallets in Mind Prize goes to: The Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company. The D.C.-based troupe is offering 25-cent tickets to its world premiere of "Lenny and Lou," which is currently playing at the D.C. Jewish Community Center at 16th and Q streets. If you're under 25 and can prove it with an ID, the cost of the play is only a quarter. The low cost is in honor of Woolly Mammoth's 25th anniversary and is offered at the box office before all performances except Saturdays. "Lenny and Lou," a dark comedy of distorted family values and perverse maternal love, closes Sept. 26. Twenty-five cents for broken homes and the Oedipus complex? Where do we get in line?
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In the first of many blurbs in "Out of Context," we mentioned a student whose cell phone jingle was so shameful she refused to own up to it. In the nature of goofy cell-phones-in-class antics, one brooding gentleman was spotted in a certain COMM class taking stunning self-portraits with his own camera phone. We can all agree that thefacebook.com photos should be flattering and realistic, but snapping some choice shots in the middle of a lecture on the anti-lynching press of the mid-19th century is going too far.
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The touch-and-order machines at McDonald's were a great idea, but they made the role of cashier obsolete. At a recent visit to McDonald's, five people "touched" their orders in quick succession, then watched as one employee raced to prepare all the orders in accordance with the franchise's promise of fast food. The cashier stood glumly at the register, shifting receipts around, as five people waited and no more came in. "I'd do more work but the machines took my job" is no excuse for not helping out a co-worker who can't bag five Big Mac meals at once. Good help is as hard to find as GQ's table of contents.
South Side Fire Alarm Count: 11
- Compiled by Dan Zak & Jen Turner.
