"We compromised, and George W. Bush is going to sit in Dick Cheney's lap."
- John Kerry, on whether or not the presidential debates will be done sitting or standing, on "The Late Show with David Letterman" Monday.
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IN AN EXTRAORDINARY DISPLAY OF BAD TIMING, Tuesday's NBC4 local news at 6 p.m. managed to juxtapose triumph and travesty. The broadcast featured a report from the National Mall that went something like this: "The National Museum of the American Indian opened today...it was truly historic...it was beautiful...it was historically beautiful...Native Americans are beautiful and historic. Now back to you in the newsroom." The anchor followed the teleprompter without a hint of irony: "Now on to the Washington Redskins..."
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IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE, well, Halloween. A house on U Street has its door bedecked in skeleton and pumpkin cutouts. An employee at the CVS at 17th and P streets was hanging a life-size skeleton by the door on Tuesday. Johnson's Flower and Garden Center on Van Ness Street has gone gourd-crazy, with those indicative orbs spilling onto the sidewalk under the large banner "Pumpkin Patch." There are still 38 days before Halloween and, even though the first day of autumn was yesterday, can't we all keep up summer's appearances? We're going to go have a picnic.
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REMEMBER WHEN PEOPLE took their dogs for walks? Apparently, the newest wave of canine exercise has pooches going the way of the infant. On Sunday, an older couple pushed their English bulldog down Independence Avenue in a baby stroller. Pedestrians stopped to guffaw as the proud parents smiled, continuing on past the Smithsonian Castle and onto the National Mall. Perhaps the dog was injured, or perhaps it was just invoking the British right to conveyance often abused by the Queen. Either way, good for the bulldog for training its masters.
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HEY, THESE DAYS THE KERRY CAMPAIGN needs all the good news it can get. The Democratic presidential candidate is ahead of George W. Bush in a poll of naked college students on collegehumor.com. Take that, Gallup! The crude site is doing its civic duty through Election Erection '04, which petitions campus coeds to decorate their bodies with their preferred candidate's name and submit a photo. There is an expansive and explicit gallery of submissions, mostly of bare breasts and vaginas - 45 for Kerry, 26 for Bush. There is even one from an AU student, whose lower abdomen reads: "AU, Vote Bush, It's Just Natural." It's kind of like the '70s again, only creepier.
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IT'S ONLY A FEW WEEKS INTO SCHOOL, and there's already an alarming trend of people with smelly feet taking off their shoes in class. We understand blocks are as long and tedious as trans-Pacific flights, but that's no reason to get just as comfortable. Nothing makes a long class longer than smelly, unsheathed feet.
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FUN WITH NUMBERS
Number of fire alarms on South Side: 11 Number of fire alarms on North Side: 1 Days J. Lo & Marc Anthony have been married: 109 Days Britney Spears & Kevin Federline have been married: 5
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weekend@theeagleonline.com
