5. "Leeches!" Disaster strikes when members of a high school swim team experiment with performance-enhancing steroids and leeches suck their blood. Now they're leeches ... to the extreme! These giant leeches attack and kill everyone. The best part about this movie is its ready supply of studly, Speedo-clad swim-boys. All these tastycakes look identical; the only exception is one of these studs slaps on a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, and instantly he's a science nerd. The other swimmers tease him by saying, "Hey, why do you have to always be doin' that marine biology?"
4. "The Killer Tongue." What do a meteorite, a woman named Candy, four pastel-colored poodles, a mute nun and four drag queens have in common? A crazy killer tongue of course! When a chunk of a meteorite lands in this lady's soup, her tongue comes alive and eats people! Then, her four pet poodles are transformed into drag queens. The fun never stops in this wacky foreign film. Did I mention there's also a bank robbery and a redneck sherrif? This movie has it all!
3. "The Killer Eye." Don't let the title fool you. The giant eye in this film kills absolutely no one. However, it does have sex with several young girls with its giant optic nerve after hypnotizing them. The eye is born when a scientist opens a gateway to the eighth dimension while experimenting on a homeless man. The highlight is the scientist's wife Rita, played by Jacqueline Lovell, who hasn't shown this much range since her role in the classic "Nude Bowling Party." The giant eye is a representation of their fledgling relationship as husband and wife. Rita's abstract yearnings for sexual pleasure are manifested as this rampaging eye, with a tantalizing taste for eroticism.
2. "Jack Frost." No, not the 1998 kid-friendly Michael Keaton picture, but the totally awesome snowman slasher flick released a year earlier. After a death row inmate has a chemical reaction with snow, he becomes a mutant killer snowman. Watch as he skewers this old lady on a Christmas tree and, in an unforgettable shower scene, he totally inserts his carrot into Shannon Elizabeth's love nest and remarks, "I guess Christmas came early this year." Genius.
1. "Totem." Six sexy teens are trapped by an invisible forcefield in the area surrounding a cabin they were psychically drawn to. Then, they discover a giant totem pole. The very white Paul challenges the supposedly Native American Robert that he must know what's going on. Robert is just like, "Screw you man. If it was a fuckin' Roman column, everybody would be lookin' at you funny, 'cause your parents came from goddamn Sicily, or wherever the hell they came from." It only gets better from there, as the teens start killing each other, while several knee-high totem puppet monsters attack them.
