"Nicky and I are different in this crucial way: She's better at shopping than I am."
- Paris Hilton on her sister, in Twist magazine
We admit the Police Blotter is the most popular part of The Eagle. How can it not be, with all the asinine antics of our student body? But the best blotter experience ran Monday. Public Safety charged four students Friday with an alcohol violation after officers caught them with shovels and a keg in a wooded area near Reeves Field. Apparently, they were going to bury the keg for future use at a soccer game. What a wonderful example of forward thinking. Who says college students are lazy and unprepared these days?
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A fight broke out Tuesday at the VIBE awards when an autograph seeker punched Dr. Dre in the face. A melee ensued, and Young Buck ended up stabbing the aggressor. "It's really important that we don't take a negative incident like this and do away with the awards," said Suge Knight, whom Dre has a restraining order against, according to the Associated Press. The losers? VIBE magazine. The winner? Knight, who proves once again that he's a beacon of non-violence, compassion and understanding.
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Who says kindness is dead? When one Scene staffer was strapped for cash last week, an employee at Auntie Anne's was there to help. When commenting to a friend about how a lack of money prevented her from purchasing a beverage with which to wash down her pretzel, the friendly Auntie Anne's worker felt her pain. He gallantly provided a soda to the parched Scene staffer free of charge. Random acts of kidness still exist, even at AU.
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This is better than Showtime! London's Heathrow airport has a new X-ray machine that uses low-level radiation to see through clothing, Reuters reported Tuesday. The machine produces an anatomically detailed image of the body underneath in order to check for weapons. The machine has been criticized by civil liberties folk, though Heathrow says 98 percent of flyer feedback is positive. Of course, they're not the ones who have to look at the naked bodies of the elderly and otherwise misshapen for eight hours a day.
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Now that super-sleazy pop star-actress-vixen Lindsay Lohan has officially called it quits with "That 70s Show" doofus Wilmer Valderrama, the Lohan has been seen gallivanting around California with fellow questionable musician Ashlee Simpson. For someone so sick of "rumors," as her TRL-topping debut single states, the Lohan is certainly not doing anything to help stop gossip like: Are her boobs as fake as Ashlee's voice, and can anyone say lesbian lovers? If a sex scandal like that emerges, they could just blame it on Ashlee's drummer.
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Playboy has showcased "groundbreaking" photography for 50 years. Now the magazine is giving college students an opportunity to extend their involvement with the magazine beyond mere ogling. As part of the Third Annual College Nude Photography Contest, Playboy.com is accepting photo submissions from college students of 10 or more tasteful female nudes. Now you can tell your creepy roommate to direct his voyeuristic tendencies toward something constructive. On a side note, a Scene staffer visited Playboy.com to, ahem, see what the deal was with the contest. Apparently, the featured women of the month are the Girls of McDonald's. "Is your favorite drive-thru diva here?" the Web site asks. Uh, we're lovin' it?
