Tim Allen's annual attempt at career revival fails to foster holiday hijinks by JASON ALREDGE
John Grisham's novels are best known for being suspenseful stories about law and crime. So it is surprising that his book "Skipping Christmas" has been turned into a movie, "Christmas with the Kranks."
"Christmas with the Kranks" is a major switch from a usual Grisham story. In this adaptation, there are no intriguing plotlines about corruption or greed, and no characters with moral dilemmas. "Chris Columbus, who directed "Home Alone," helped write this funny holiday movie, but ultimately it offers very little in creativity.
Luther Krank (Tim Allen) decides to skip Christmas and take his wife Nora (Jamie Lee Curtis) on a Caribbean cruise after their daughter, Blair (Julie Gonzalo) leaves for the Peace Corps. When the neighbors find out, they are shocked, to say the least. The Kranks are bombarded with attempts to get them back into the holiday spirit, which drive them crazy.
Things get worse when Luther and Nora find out that Blair has decided to come home. She's also bringing her fianc?, Enrique. She's expecting a Christmas party, her favorite ham and a decorated house. So, Luther and Nora attempt to pull off Christmas in less than 24 hours.
The overemphasis people place on Christmas makes the movie hilarious, at least for the first hour. The characters really feel it is a special time of the year, and they view people who don't feel the same way as strange and must force them to. ÿ
However, the performances from Allen and Curtis are average and subpar, respectively. The things they do seem so ordinary, and the fact they are in embarrassing or unusual situations doesn't make them all that special.
Dan Aykroyd's performance as busybody neighbor Vic Fromeyerisn't really that spectacular. He basically leads the charge against the Kranks' decision to cancel Christmas. In one scene, Vic chases Nora like a stalker while she's driving. He shifts from a boring and useless character to a psychotic, even more useless character.
The movie does manage to produce laughs, such as the scene in which Luther is injected with Botox, or when Nora tries a tanning machine and her skin turns an obnoxiously fake color of brown. In a way, the movie tries to make ordinary situations more exciting than they are, and that ends up making them even less funny.
The only scene that really stands out in the movie is when Luther and Nora are in their house and a group of carolers comes over to sing "Jingle Bells." They keep singing and singing, almost to the point of stalking. When Nora goes to check the window to see if they have left, the carolers pop right back up singing.
"Christmas with the Kranks" offers a fair deal of humor and heart, but fails to stand out as unique. John Grisham should stick to writing about government conspiracies and the mob, not about holiday family bliss.
Holiday Video Do's and Don'ts By DANIEL LONGINO
As the holiday season rapidly approaches, do you really want to watch "White Christmas" for the umpteenth time? Now, don't get me wrong, "White Christmas" is straight dope, but in order to fill the void, here's a guide to what holiday flicks are worth checking out, and are to be avoided at all costs.
DO WATCH:
"Ernest Saves Christmas." Ah Ernest, is there anything you can't do? This movie is great for the scene in which Ernest has to sneak Santa Claus onto a movie set where they're filming a holiday horror movie called "Christmas Slay" in a truck full of snakes.
"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." This buried gem can be found on the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" DVD: "The Essentials." After watching, you'll learn just who is "the laziest man on Mars" (hint: It's not a man, but a Martian named Droppo).
"Home Alone." No one seems to watch this one much anymore, but everyone should rediscover it this holiday season. Before director Chris Columbus made two bad "Harry Potter" movies and discovered the New World - at least I think that's the chronology - he made this totally awesome holiday classic. Nothing says Christmas like an iron in the face and a nail in the foot.
Other good choices are "The Ref," "8 Crazy Nights," the first two "Die Hard" movies and "Bad Santa."
DON'T WATCH:
"Christmas Evil." Whatever you do, avoid this absolutely awful film starring Brandon Maggart, aka Fiona Apple's dad, who goes on an axe wielding massacre after he's emotionally scarred as a child after catching his mom doing more than kissing Santa one Christmas.
"Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House." Professional squinter French Stewart ("3rd Rock from the Sun") assumes the role of the bumbling thief in this 2002 TV movie. Kevin McAllister has apparently stayed the same age since the 1990 original. But this time Kevin's parents don't leave him behind - they just divorce!
Also avoid "Jingle All the Way," "Surviving Christmas" and "Reindeer Games"
