"The Cosmo Kama Sutra: 77 Mind-Blowing Sex Positions" has 175 sexual positions, most of which you have already done, and if you haven't, it is because they are physically impossible. The book gives positions like doggy-style, or sex with the woman on all fours - the new, snazzier name of which is Standing Tiger/Crouching Dragon. Now, if you ask your boyfriend to do a Standing Tiger/Crouching Dragon, he may not be as thrilled as if you simply ask him to throw you on all fours and have sex with you from behind.
The names are not the only enhancements to your everyday sex positions. Each of the 175 positions comes with erotic instructions, an explanation of why you'll love it and a helpful Cosmo hint on how to get the most out of each position. Each sex style is also ranked on the top right-hand side of the page with a certain amount of flames to indicate the level of difficulty, or the "Carnal Challenge" as it's called.
And a carnal challenge it is. Some sexual positions just can't logistically be held for more than a few seconds. Some positions look more like yoga moves than anything you could do with a penis inside you. "The Lusty Lean" (page 83) has the 6-foot-5 inch muscular man standing up while the woman stands at a 90-degree angle with her ass placed directly at cock level. Erotic instructions: "When he enters you, adjust the width of your legs to allow him to go deeper. Think of your knees as little springs and enhance his thrusting with your own little moves." I'd be too self-conscious that with all that back-and-forth thrusting, I would make him fall over backward, or he would knock me off his cock and into a light fixture.
The 12 lust lessons snuck in between pages of sex positions were the most helpful in the book, my favorite lust lesson being the "Lube Lowdown." The "five-point primer to help you pick out the perfect motion lotion" gives more helpful and rhyming advice like "take a waiver on the flavor," advising women to leave strawberry-banana lubricants at the store, and stick with non-scented, non-flavored K-Y Jelly. There was also some questionable advice, like skipping the spermicide. The book advises that nonoxynol-9, the main ingredient in spermicide can irritate the vagina, but if the spermicide is out, then the condom and birth control must definitely be in.
Another helpful and practical lust lesson was "The Perfect Position for You," which uses a purple-and-cream-colored graph to list problems, for example the issue of a plus-sized penis, then gives a solution and a reason why it works.
There are some laugh-out-loud moments in this book, like Lust Lesson No. 11, "Fixes for Your Worst Sex Flubs," number one being the question of who sleeps on the wet spot mess after sex. Cosmo recommends a terry cloth blanket. I recommend making the man always sleep in the wet spot - after all you make it, you bake in it. Lust Lesson No. 12, "The Sexiest Things to Do After Sex," suggests giving him a compliment; a man would prefer an after-sex blow-job to a compliment any day.
The book is far less intimidating than traditional kama sutra texts, but this book also offers many more conservative position choices. The book reads like a special sex section in the latest Cosmo, and is no racier than a sold-on-news-stand magazine. The book is a neon-pink, medium-sized square. The text is easy to read, and the pictures have bright and colorful backgrounds.
Learn how to position your body for each arousing position by mimicking the pictures of the cartoon graphics on each opposing page. All of the couples are thin and toned; each woman has sizeable breasts and hard nipples. All of the couples are men on women or women on men - in Cosmo's kama sutra-world orgies, bisexual and gay men and lesbians don't need any of their sex advice. The cartoon people come in ivory, cream, mocha and milk chocolate. According to these models, only ivory and chocolate people have sex, all other races must be abstinent.
I'd borrow this book from a friend, or get a subscription to Comso and save the extra money to go buy some edible body paint or a new porn flick. This will add a lot more flavor to your sex life than following this book's over-used and R-rated instructions.
If you are looking to spice up your sex this Valentine's Day and show that special someone how loudly you can scream in bed, try a new location, not just a new position.
