In case you didn't know (chances are you don't), shortly before school let out for winter break, a brand new Student Confederation constitution passed through the backing of a well-represented special election, turning out a whopping 194 votes, including six abstentions.
Although there were several adjustments made from the old constitution, one in particular caught my eye while reading the text of this new holy governing document. The Student Confederation will now be called Student Government, and the legislative body of the SC, formerly known as the General Assembly, will be renamed the Undergraduate Senate. This means that the SC will have to pay somewhere between $250 and $2,000 (we've heard both numbers) for the name change. But even worse, we have to address the GA members as "senators." There are probably several other more appropriate terms (jokes, nerds, self-important buffoons) that we could give to these selfless servants of the student population. I personally think the term "tool" is particularly appropriate. And yes, I realize that by writing this opinion piece, I too am a tool, but that's a price I'm willing to pay to make my argument. I've been here at AU for a year and a half, so I've seen my fair share of absurdity come out of the GA (there's no way in hell I'll call it a senate). My roommate was a GA member last year, so I had a front seat for all the action.
My most memorable experience was the Will Mount "crisis" last fall. For all you freshmen who weren't here last year to experience this, let me fill you in:
Will Mount co-signs a piece of legislation when he wasn't supposed to. Legislation gets lost and can't be found in time to vote on. (I guess the GA doesn't have a copier.) Mount is impeached for illegally blocking legislation, and is removed from his GA position.
Here is where it gets really juicy. At the meeting where Mount was removed from office, 15 GA members walked out in protest. From here the rebelling members, through a series a late-night meetings held in the basement of Ward, plotted to re-write the SC bylaws and force the resignation of then Speaker Zachary Constantino. Wow, sounds like fun, doesn't it? Needless to say, Constantino did resign, along with three other GA members, and the bylaws were changed. And all this went on at a time when the safety of the female student population was at risk from a breast-groping pervert.
Now as ridiculous as this impeachment fiasco was, it at least showed promise for the GA because four of its most "toolish" members left and there was new spirit for student involvement. But alas, the GA floundered once again. This is evident enough by the current speaker of the GA. Richard Bradbury was the person who filed impeachment charges against Mount, and he later said that the end result was "a bit much." Way to go, buddy.
This stupid waste of valuable time was actually very reminiscent of the Clinton impeachment, in which Republicans in Congress sent Kenneth Starr on a witch hunt to find out whether the president had managed to get head in the Oval Office. It turned out that yes, the president liked oral sex, and on more than one occasion managed to get some. It's a good bet that in the end, no one really cared about that revelation.
My point in this comparison is that many of the GA members, just like many members of Congress, have never had a real concern about the issues affecting their constituents. The true goal of many of the GA members is to pretend they're running a mock Congress and to get their names in every form of media on campus. This is why we get a constitution that declares them all to be senators. Power trip? I think so. All we need is ATV to start an AU edition of "Hardball," and we would have our own little screwed-up version of America on our campus.
The United States' Congress might be the least effective institution of the government. With 535 elected officials, nearly all of whom are trying to make names for themselves, important legislation is constantly held up in committee and normally heads to the White House in watered-down, ineffective form. Too much emphasis is placed on debate and not enough on action.
It took the GA six hours to vote on the new constitution. (I feel bad for the suckers who had to cover that meeting.) That's six hours of discussion on a four-page document. They couldn't even do a page an hour. Six hours is enough time to ride the shuttle to Tenleytown and back 18 times; enough time to a read a novel; enough time for Bill Clinton to get head from Monica six or seven times; enough time for George Bush to invade another Middle Eastern country; enough time for Congress to debate whether a new committee should be created to investigate something someone did somewhere. And apparently, this was just enough time for nine members of the GA to assure their names were set in stone here at AU through their masterful work in forming a new constitution.
So, if the goal for all you GA members is to try to be Congress, you'll be happy to know that you are actually doing a great job. Keep it up. However, there is validity to the idea that the GA and the SC as a whole are essentially powerless, and for that reason they're jokes. (Nobody really disputes that their jokes, just why they are that way.) There is no doubt that the school administration dictates entirely what initiatives are enacted on campus, and the GA merely suggests what should be done.
The great thing about democracy is that the masses rule. So if the GA really wanted to do something bordering on important, all it would need to do is lighten up and stir up some support from the student body. I'd like to see Ben Ladner take on 5,000 pissed off (or drunk) college kids. Last year, when senior Gordon Simonett took over as speaker of the GA following Constantino's resignation, he said that the GA had "thrown out experience and brought in ideas." If only he had been right.
What the GA needs is a rejuvenation, not a name change. The members of the GA need to stop worrying about where their names appeared on nakedvoting.com, The Eagle or benladner.com. (I got my name in a paper in Florida and on CNN.com ... twice ... suckas.) The students of AU need a governing body that isn't caught up in what procedure was violated when a newly elected freshman spoke at the wrong time. Talk about real issues, like the "cleanup" of the baseball field behind the dorms on south side, the safety of the student body or the crap food we eat at TDR.
Likewise, the representatives in Congress need to stop listening to their economic interests or running off to be on lame debate shows like "Hardball," (Listen up Democrats!) and start doing something for the greater good.
John Dawood is a sophomore in the School of Public Affairs.
