The only thing worse than waiting until the last minute to make Valentine's Day dinner reservations is waiting until the last minute to find a Valentine. But don't dial the Lavalife hotline just yet. These cruisy locales offer the perfect environment for finding a convenient relationship - just in time for V-Day!
The Container Store, 4500 Wisconsin Ave. NW
If you can't find a place to stick something, then the Container Store in Tenleytown may help you find a solution, depending upon what that something is and where you hope to stick it. OK, all ridiculous innuendo aside, there are a lot of hotties on staff - way more hotties than Whole Foods or even CVS - so it pays to make a visit. Impress a particularly well-contained sales associate with your knowledge of polypropylene stack baskets, and who knows? Perhaps your Valentine's Day will be both obsessive and compulsive after all.
Whitman-Walker Clinic, 1407 S St. NW
Some people say the Whitman-Walker Clinic is only good for refilling your Valtrex prescription, but it's also a great place to meet sexy, sexually active singles. While mingling in the waiting room, steer clear of the guy in dark sunglasses and a hat. He doesn't want you to know why he's at the clinic, and frankly, neither do you. Bonus: If you and your special someone both test clean, you can look forward to a Valentine's Day full of reckless sex!
Chipotle, 4301 Wisconsin Ave. NW
Nothing brings people together quite like spicy burritos and a vague sense of impending digestive problems. While at the counter, loudly announce your complex, impossibly detailed order, making it a point to correct the Chipotle associate on his or her overzealous application of cheese and lackluster burrito-rolling abilities. The girl next to you will take notice of your high standards and peg you as a man who knows (and gets!) what he wants. It's a surefire way of making your Valentine's Day as hot as a jalapeno pepper.
Metro Center, 607 13th St. NW
Where do the palpable scents of body odor, grime and romance linger simultaneously in the air? Metro Center, of course! As the nexus of the Blue, Orange and Red lines, Metro Center has something for everyone, be it the handsome single dad from White Flint or the endearing bag lady from Eastern Market. You'll want to loiter around rush hour, when the station is packed and the opportunities for lechery are prime. Make your move during the inevitable "major delay" by offering to share with your target a cab ride home.
