It was never clearer until Monday evening that members of the Davenport Coffee Lounge staff appear to actually live there. The tell-tale signs were all too clear: One Dav staffer draped herself over an entire couch while complaining about a Peace and Conflict Resolution reading assignment, despite several patrons sheepishly looking for seats; another was frolicking back and forth between the bookshelves and entryway while humming obscure indie rock; and a third was snoozing conspicuously at a back table, a copy of a really intellectual-looking book draped over her lap. __
Due to a frazzled driver's misinterpretation of Tenley Circle's traffic flow, an accident occurred on the inner loop last Friday. Okay, so circles are confusing, and all of us take a reasonable amount of time navigating them with excessive over-the-shoulder glances and subtle taps of the accelerator. But when you're at the end of Nebraska Avenue, you have two choices: Go slightly counter-clockwise, or a little more counter-clockwise. It's not a good idea to venture toward cars aiming for your own headlights. __
Spring is here, and so are the "bedless breeders:" those couples that pop up everywhere, locking lips in every imaginable campus locale. A polite message to those of you who may fall into this ever-expanding group: tonsil hockey is not a spectator sport. Next time that seat on the crowded shuttle bus beckons you to indulge in some public snogging, please think of all the bitter singles surrounding you in angry droves. You may be awfully excited about having a wealth of PDA opportunities, but be assured that everyone else is not. __
Many students were dismayed to return from their spring break debauchery only to find large piles of mulch mysteriously materializing on the Quad. Akin to the overnight appearance of other inexplicable items (such as crop circles, UFOs and panda statues), the mulch mounds presented otherworldly obstacles to typical paths between classes. Could their uncanny appearance have anything to do with the equally sudden disappearance of H?agen Daaz from the Megabytes Caf?? __
Despite being dead, notoriously choosy Marlon Brando is reviving his role as Jor-El, Superman's father in the upcoming film "Superman Returns." Brando will live on through remaining stock footage from the first two Superman movies. Brando was unavailable for comment.
