Flipping channels between "The OC" and VH1's "The Fabulous Life," I stumbled upon yet another scandalous tale of a teacher behind bars for having sex with a student. The camera cut to Pamela Turner, 27, an elementary school teacher from Tennessee who was charged with having sex with a 13-year-old student at his home and at school. But this was no ordinary teacher; she takes Dustin Hoffman's "Graduate" fantasy to a whole new level. She looks like a porn-star Britney Spears mutt, yet this hot teacher could get up to 100 years in prison if convicted of all charges.
But this story of statutory is just one of many filling the headlines. While sex between an elementary school teacher and student is clearly an ethical, moral and sexual violation, what about sex between two consenting adults, one of whose job is to teach and the other to learn? Sex between students and teachers is dominating the news, but is it happening in a university classroom near you?
Now I'll admit I've had a crush on a professor or two. I had a tutor, he was inspiring and challenging. He made me think, he helped me create and that is what made him attractive. While he could be golfing buddies with my dad based on his age and his affection for sport coats, his ability to test me in the classroom prompted me to fondle the idea of being challenged by him in other arenas. I thought the flirtation was in my head, but in some twisted fantasy the inspiration he gave me mutated into sexual tension, though I never slept with him.
I liked playing with the idea of stripping down this J.D. Salinger, but I wasn't sure how hot or anti-climactic the sex would be. And then after experiencing him sexually, would my idealized image of him morph into one of a dirty old man with an oversized grin? With all of this hesitation I decided to keep the faculty-student fantasy in my head and out of his office and his bed.
Does age really matter? After all, we all pay rent, have jobs, contemplate the meaning of life and have a soft spot for cheap red wine.But the concept is still fanciful: wild sex with your most brilliant, most attractive professor, once they are no longer supplying you a grade and the power dynamic is minimized. Do student-professor affairs happen in faculty offices, or are is daydream left to music videos and twenty-something novels?
Would you sleep with a professor?
Now casual sex between student and teacher, on the collegiate and consensual level, used to be a common occurrence during the days of free love and cheaper tuition. When did sleeping with a professor go from hot sex to a jail-time mess?
What happened to the good old days when a little sexual tension and steamy romance between a teacher and student was considered a good story for the faculty lounge, or the sorority house?
Does age really matter? After all, we all pay rent, have jobs, contemplate the meaning of life and have a soft spot for cheap red wine. When does the term adult deem us all equal, or is sleeping with Robin William's character from the movie classic "Dead Poets Society" never an acceptable extra credit project? Would you sleep with Richard Dreyfus' character from "Mr. Holland's Opus", or perhaps Michelle Pfeifer's character from "Dangerous Minds?"
What makes a professor sexy? His or her ability to teach you, to mold your mind, to prompt you to question yourself and form new ideas, not to mention the experience of an older man or woman. I would hope that any partner I would have, even if he didn't happen to instruct a formal classroom, would challenge me, make me think and teach me knew things about myself, sexually and intellectually. Perhaps dating or sleeping with a professor guarantees you one of the two, orgasmic sex or mind-blowing conversation and debate?
While I look back on my teacher crush as a coulda, woulda, shoulda sex scandal that may have earned me an A in the bedroom and a wild affair abroad, as a graduating senior I have to say that, no, I have not slept with a professor and there are no AU teachers that I'd quantify as sexual scandal, but a little crush never hurt anybody.
Caught with your pants down runs every Thursday. Jessica Bacharach is a senior in the School of Communication and can be reached at eaglepantsdown@yahoo.com.
