"Vice Do's and Don'ts" Vice magazine Gavin McInnes Synopsis: The definitive critique of real-life winners and losers in the fashion game.
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Note to all men: shoes on, sandals off. Otherwise, end up sandwiched between a medieval punk riding a Vespa and a 300-pound woman wearing a "foxy" T-shirt on one of the "don'ts" pages of the "Vice Do's and Don'ts" book. In his compilation of 10 years' worth of street-rooted fashion critiques, Gavin McInnes highlights the fine line between God-given fashion sense and stylistic catastrophe.
As one of three founders of Vice magazine, the traditional media's snarky, renegade counterpart, McInnes is a purveyor of the good, the bad, the ugly and the politically incorrect. Deemed by some as potty-mouthed, by others as ethnically insensitive, and still by others as simply perverted, McInnes has become accustomed to coping with offended "Do's and Don'ts" readers.
"Give me a specific example" is his standard response, imploring readers to petition him via e-mail with their grievances.
Their reactions are typical of what McInnes calls "lazy academia," an intellectual community that favors searching for racism in "Star Wars" over the discussion of ethnic stereotyping in appropriate forums, and the "Do's and Don'ts" series, he argues, is not part of that. The controversial and the taboo are fair game and fuel for "Do's and Don'ts" commentary, meaning that readers can expect slurs, stereotypes and sexual innuendo, sans limits. But they can also expect genuine humor.
"Carpe diem," says McInnes, who views the stranglehold of political correctness over society as an advantage. Opposed to censorship in any form, he sees Vice publications as a forum for "unmitigated laughs and information." Whether viewed as guilty pleasure or Dressing Yourself 101, "Vice Do's and Don'ts" gives verbal life to people-watching reflections. Where else is it possible to find a photo of childbirth where the baby looks "like a Russian politician who's been holding his breath all day," or an Asian-American dressed in Oriental silks sarcastically patronized for his failed homage to native fashion? Who else could criticize a toddler for wearing purple track pants, a hip-hop thug for dressing like a Golden Girl or a middle-aged man for satisfying his visibly heinous ice cream craving? We only wish we could get away with it ourselves.
According to McInnes, "do's" have "an innate sense of style and a modicum of decorum." In male form, their trademarks could be a timeless Fred Perry shirt, product-less short hair, high-top Chuck Taylors, incomprehensible tattoos and the white jeans forsaken by man years ago. Their female counterparts have high heels, ample bottoms and sultry gazes through thick black glasses.
"Don'ts," on the other hand, swallow trends, digest them and excrete them as warped versions of their original selves. The classic "don't" tattoo comes in two forms, screaming either "fire" with a flame design or, as McInnes explained it, "a Maori warrior on fire" with a tribal pattern.
Likewise, the "Do's and Don'ts" author sees men's attempts at self-beautification and redecoration, manifested by ankle bracelets and Jordan Catalano-style leather chokers ruined by shells, as simply "polishing a turd that can't be polished." Such is the sorry fate of sandal-loving men with frosted tips. And if we read McInnes' guide, perhaps we can learn from their mistakes.
"Vice Do's and Don'ts" is available at amazon.com.
