"I think it's our responsibility to fight the white man, seriously. But my pain began the day the first native was killed here. I was born dead just by being white!"
- Devendra Banhart, wacky white folk singer.
You know that moment when you realize that your life is actually comprised of scenes from sitcoms and after school specials, when you live the melodrama and seemingly ridiculous dreams of some mid-'90s balding TV writer, or when you feel yourself living out "Dammit" by Blink-182, or an episode of "Degrassi: the Next Generation?" Yeah, that sucks. __
"Dude! Did I mention how awesome it is that it's skirt weather?" one fraternity brother was quoted as saying on the quad Tuesday. The jury's out as to whether he enjoys ogling girls' pasty legs or is just excited to break out that hot pink ruffled number he purchased last winter. __
Speaking of which, it's springtime! Perfect whether for spending time outside. So who are all those people out on the quad? They certainly don't go to our school. People never spend time on the quad. It's just a big piece of grass, right? Suddenly, American University has expanded to the size of a small metropolis, and it's impossible to walk from McKinley to Ward without either being horribly distracted by the Frisbees, bikinis and couples making out, or seeing the approximately 690,395,904 people that you've had class with since freshman year. Go college. __
The Scene staff's favorite weirdo, Devendra Banhart, recently did an interview with Buddyhead, the Fred Durst-hating website run by some dudes having to do with some metal bands. In the interview, Banhart described how much he hates being called "folk" and why he wishes his fans were more like Grateful Dead fans. He also mentioned the first time he ever did illegal drugs was when he was 10 years old, and involved stepping on a horny toadfish soon afterward: "I stepped on it and watched the ocean switch sides with the sky." Can this man please release some spoken word soon? __
On the afternoon of April Fools' Day, about 10 young men galloped onto the quad, half wearing western-style boots and hats and wielding orange toy guns, half shirtless - and all screaming. The bros barreled across the grassy rectangle and almost trampled a tour group or two before being approached by Public Safety. After the noisy romp was cut short, the boys shuffled back toward South Side and gloomily put their shirts back on. Good luck next time, dudes.
Okay, so this might be old news, but it's still really important. On lastplanetojakarta.com, the Mountain Goats' John Darnielle's 'blog,' he lists the '100 Reasons Why 'Ignition (Remix)' is so Damned Great." While only about half of the reasons are legit, its greatness includes how it doesn't mention the weekend until just the right moment. "'Ignition (remix)' delays the song's moment of revelation until the chorus' second to last line." As Darnielle says for reason #10, "therefore, R. Kelly has won and the terrorists have lost." Check it out: lastplanetojakarta.com/articles/ignition.html.
