Aries (March 21 - April 19) Are you feeling spontaneous this week? Surprise your friends with a new hairstyle. That's right, cut your roommate's hair while he or she sleeps. You'll get lucky in: Hughes Hall.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) On Wednesday, you may feel as though you are surrounded by people who just don't think the same way you do. Instead of taking the time to listen to others, make sure to railroad them with your point of view. You'll get lucky in: Bender Arena.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20) Mercury in your Eighth House indicates that this week you will feel too sexy for your shirt. So listen to Right Said Fred and do your little turn on the catwalk. You'll get lucky in: Asbury.
Cancer (June 21 - July 21) By the middle of the week you may feel as though you have hit a brick wall. Fortunately, you are just a crash test dummy. Buckle up for safety. You'll get lucky in: The McDowell formal lounge (wear a tie).
Leo (July 22 - Aug. 22) You'll be flying high on a new wave of popularity this week. Over the weekend it will be revealed that this is due to rumors that have been circulating about you. Actually, about you, those two professors, a box of glazed donuts and a pogo stick. You'll get lucky in: TDR.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) A close friend may tell you what they really think about your significant other. Though they claim to have your best interests at heart, ignore them. They're just jealous that you have someone who really loves you. You'll get lucky in: Ward Circle.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22) Keep in mind that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. You should, however, make sure your glass kitchen is stocked with snacks. Because this week people may come to your glass house to get stoned. You'll get lucky in: The Butler Instructional Center (if you can find it).
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21) It may feel as though money is burning a hole in your pocket this week. On Friday, make some bids on eBay. Tuesday will bring you many large packages. Thursday will be a great day to start selling bodily fluids. You'll get lucky in: The Anderson Computer Complex.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) For the past few weeks, you may have felt like you were living a lie. This is the time to come clean and let it all out. Your friends will understand, because they already know. Everyone knows. After all, it's all over the Internet. You'll get lucky in: The Student Health Center (since you're going to need it).
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) Cappy, you just can't catch a break this week. Watch out for "Kick Me" signs and slippery banana peels. Also, stock up on that toilet paper, because you're going to be feeling crappy. You won't get lucky in: The library (no one does).
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) Nothing special or out of the ordinary will happen to you this week. Well, except for that thing with the guy at the place. No, not that thing. The thing at the place with the guy and the other thing. Watch out for the moose. You'll get lucky in: The Amphitheatre.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20) This week, it will feel as though your inner child is begging you to let it out. So color and eat ice cream for breakfast. If you fake sick, your roommate is definitely going to let you stay home, especially if you call him or her "Mommy." You'll get lucky in: The Eagle's Nest.
