He said ...
B+
There are three facts in life: Queen Latifah is a goddess, "Mighty Ducks 3" sucks, and if a scientific laboratory becomes a place of monsters and deranged human beings, The Rock has to be the one to save the day. Luckily, the film "Doom," based on the popular video game, supports at least one of these facts.
The Rapid Response Tactical Squad sent to correct the aforementioned science lab problem, led by Sarge (The Rock) and Grimm (Karl Urban), is the usual quiet riot of outrageous stereotypes, as seen in "Predator," "Aliens" and the like. There's the token black guy, the token silent Asian, the token born-again Christian and, of course, the token nervous rookie. But obviously there is no Carl Weathers, and thus, this is not comparable to other classics of the genre.
The soldiers initially think all they'll have to deal with is a scientist gone crazy, but when they encounter mutated humans, it's clear their mission has taken a turn for the worse. These ogres are no easy kill, and unsurprisingly, the movie concentrates on the RRTS getting their heads handed to them by these foul beings.
The story focuses on Grimm and his scientist sister (Rosamund Pike) finding out what transformed the scientists, but it's Sarge, running on piss and vinegar, who towers above the rest of the cast as The Rock channels Hulk Hogan from "Suburban Commando" (not Hulk Hogan from "3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain"). This is a man who gets what he wants, and it's quite evident. When he wants a door opened up, it's opened. When he wants to shoot innocent civilians, he goddamn shoots innocent civilians. And geez Louise, he really knows how to drop the F-bomb. The Rock is an engaging actor who easily steals the show with his charisma and overcomes the relatively crappy dialogue.
Extra points should be awarded to director Andrzej Bartkowiak ("Romeo Must Die") for his faithfulness to the video game. As something as important to this generation's childhood as "Global Guts" and Polly Pocket, it's nice to see nods like the BFG and various monstrosities taken straight from the game. The film even takes the form of a first-person shooter in the climatic action sequence, creating an almost artistic look to Grimm's killing spree (or about as artistic as one can get while shooting the heads off chainsaw-wielding eyesores).
The movie has many religious overtones, regarding heaven and hell and good vs. evil, but face it: one doesn't go to the movies to have The Rock proselytize to them. The movie raises some interesting questions. Who judges who is good and who is evil? How far can science go before it oversteps its boundaries? And what is the best way to kill a monster in a wheelchair? If one is an inquisitive person and also enjoys it when The Rock says things like "Semper Fi, motherfucker," then as far as video game movies go, "Doom" is ace.
- Drew Rosensweig
She said ...
D+
Say Mars is overrun with a breed of mutated super humans with a taste for blood. Say mankind sends The Rock and a crew of space marines to Mars to fight off said murderous super humans. Say this situation is the entirety of the plot of Andrzej Bartkowiak's film adaptation of the video game "Doom."
With a directorial resume featuring the films "Cradle 2 the Grave" and "Romeo Must Die," it's no surprise that Bartkowiak doesn't deliver cinema magic with this plot-light, violence-heavy action flick. "Doom" centers on stoic space marine John Grimm (Karl Urban) and his struggle to mend a fractured relationship with his forensic archeologist sister, Samantha (Rosamund Pike), while trying to save mankind from bloodthirsty "Creature from the Black Lagoon"-esque beings.
Grimm, Sarge (The Rock) and the rest of the ragtag bunch are sent "a couple of million light years from breakfast" to shoot these creatures and pretty much everything else they see. Samantha chips in by discovering that the source of the creatures' super human strength is a 24th chromosome derived from a dead race. Questions her brother Grimm, "If they were so smart, how come they're so dead?"
Luckily for The Rock's excessive weaponry, they aren't exactly dead. Furthermore, they have gigantic tongues that kill. A violent hunt must then ensue throughout the futuristic Mars research center and, for less apparent reasons, through its sewer system. During this time, numerous scientists are found dead, allowing The Rock to deliver such insightful lines as, "Dr. Carmack's condition is irreversible because Dr. Carmack's condition is that he's dead."
Between the wearisome violence and lackluster special effects, little room remains for a unique, let alone completely logical, plotline. "Doom" suffers in this regard, as there is virtually nothing about this movie to differentiate it from scores of other action films - nothing, that is, except for more of those profound one-liners from The Rock.
"We kill them all and let God sort them out," he explains to a rookie marine with civilian-killing qualms. Essentially, this seems to be the philosophy of the film; Grimm and Sarge gun down the bad guys, the good guys and each other, and the audience is left to sort it all out.
- Mia Steinle
