"Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."
-"Mean Girls"
It's that time of year again. Kids of all ages don costumes to go trolling for candy or gain admittance to a variety of events. Every Halloween, however, it seems like the costume selection for women is clearly lacking in material ... literally.
Halloween has become the ultimate excuse for women to dress like sluts without being labeled as such, but what happened to the good ole' days? Remember when little girls would dress up as doctors, musicians or oversized pumpkins? It seems as girls get older, discerning taste goes right out the door with innocence.
So, in honor of Halloween, The Eagle has come up with six foolproof costumes for ladies that have no chance of being labeled anything except original.
April O'Neil - Yellow jumpsuit, '80s feathered hair, notepad and journalistic integrity are all that's required to make this costume front-page news. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trusted her, just as any wearer can trust this costume is a great fit.
Ashlee Simpson - Black eyeliner, check! Faux-punk rocker chic outfit, check! Now add a tape recorder playing "Pieces of Me," insert a few hoe-down maneuvers and bring back the Ashlee we all know and love.
Jackie "O" - The pink Halston suit she was wearing the day her husband JFK was assassinated is now fashion legend. Jackie was known for classic good taste, so either choose the pillbox hat look or wear her signature oversized shades with black cigarette pants to create a classically cute costume.
Condoleezza "Condi" Rice - Find a "smart" suit and a cute black bob wig and this Condi costume is almost perfect. Just remember her signature Ferragamos and to black out a front tooth for another of her signature looks: the gap.
Martha Stewart - Tie a sweater around a white blouse with a nice pair of khakis and get out the shackled lo-jack to create Martha's foundation. Add pearls and a nice floral arrangement and this costume is ready for tricks and treats. The orange prison jumpsuit is optional.
Ballerina - This costume is slightly nostalgic. Throw on the pink tights, leotard and ballet slippers and recreate an old Halloween favorite. The key is to wear a tutu that covers your caboose for those plies.
