Aries (March 21 -April 19) This week, your friends will be super-supportive of every decision you make. You'll think you're flying high above your network of congenial buddies until the weekend, when you find yourself unable to make bail. Lucky reality show: "Breaking Bonaduce."
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) With Neptune ascending into your 11th house, this week is sure to bring a lot of surprises; perhaps a surprise party or a mysterious call asking you to appear on "The Maury Povich Show." The surprise may be even bigger: the baby's yours. Lucky reality show: "Elimidate."
Gemini (May 21 - June 20) It seems your life is never dull, Gem. Prepare yourself for an exhilaratingly long weekend and make sure to have extra galoshes on hand. You never know who might drop in to stir things up. We know, but we're not telling. Lucky reality show: "The Surreal Life."
Cancer (June 21 - July 21) Watch out for shady characters wearing tights. You're not hallucinating; they really are trying to steal your soul. They wanted us to tell you to meet them in the LA quad on the day of days. The mother ship will be waiting. Lucky reality show: "Being Bobby Brown."
Leo (July 22 - August 22) Nobody likes a party pooper, Leo. Stop telling everyone to turn down the music because you can't hear "Wheel of Fortune." Replace your housedress with something sassy. Go out on the town and get down with your bad self. Lucky reality show: "Road Rules."
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You may be feeling lethargic this week. Don't try to fight it, give in completely. Stay in bed all day and eat lots of food. Your only true accomplishment this week should be training your roommate to bring you your favorite snack foods and the remote. Lucky reality show: "The Real World."
Libra (September 23 - October 22) You're floating on cloud nine this week, and that's a good thing. By the weekend, many of your friends will join you, since they will be high as kites. Enjoy this while it lasts. Come Monday, someone will be bursting your bubbles and raining on your parade. Lucky reality show: "America's Next Top Model."
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Gather up the courage this week to talk to that hottie you see everyday at work or around campus. This week might just be your week. If it isn't, well, it's nothing that can't be cured by some alcohol and a Patrick Swayze movie marathon. Lucky reality show: "Growing Up Gotti."
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Sag, when you feel as though you should just give up this week, don't. First, give up. Then leap headfirst into a downward spiral. Who needs school, work or friends? Throw it all away and write awful poetry. Lucky reality show: "Room Raiders."
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) The position of the stars will put you in a very generous mood this week. Treat your friends to a night out; it could be a delightful time. Also, it would be a great idea to send a large amount of cash to the chick who predicts the future in The Eagle. Lucky reality show: "Blind Date."
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) It may seem as though someone in your life is avoiding you this week. Take this very personally and attempt to stalk this person. Once you have cornered him or her, insist that he or she explains what is going on. A restraining order is in your near future. Lucky reality show: "So You Think You Can Dance?"
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) You may be feeling especially nervous and worried this week. It might be a good idea to make a list of everything that is bothering you and read it aloud in front of a large group of people. It may not make you feel better, but hey, it'll be funny for everyone else. Lucky reality show: "The Biggest Loser"
