"That'll teach you to wear such a huge belt buckle, Dan."
-One overweight man overheard regarding another during a sumptuous, $16.95 all-you-can-eat buffet meal at the Flamingo Resort and Casino, Las Vegas.
Anheuser-Busch, which has been promoting "Bud-Pong" since July, is now saying that it meant for the game to be played with water the whole time. Staffers here at the Scene have been playing beer pong with water since they were little kids, so they totally understand what they mean. Those unruly college kids who decided to play the game with beer totally got the wrong idea. Because like they said, Anheuser-Busch totally didn't mean for people to misconstrue the rules of the game.
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On Wednesday the crowd at the Tenleytown 7-11 wasn't queuing up for Slurpees as usual. The $340 million D.C. Lottery jackpot caused a line of people to form outside the convenience Mecca and around the store onto Windom Street. Next time Scene staffers are in need of a quick refreshment and a pack of smokes, they'll stick to Tenley Mini Mart, which, for some reason, was minus a party of wannabe millionaires. And sells booze.
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An anonymous University College student was seen barraging his floor mates with a homemade air cannon constructed from a trashcan and a plastic bag. As an Eagle staffer walked by, she was hit with a painful surge of air. "It's for class," he explained. The Scene staff would absolutely love to know what professor assigned that gem of homework.
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The bathroom on the second floor of Mary Graydon is a quiet, less-frequented space to think and release some waste. But is it a place for drying a pair of wet panties? Apparently, yes. A girl was spotted awkwardly trying to blow air onto her underwear (which she was still wearing) as two separate witnesses awkwardly tried to hurry out. The Scene recommends trying one of the more private one-room bathrooms near the Career Center on the fourth or fifth floor of Mary Graydon for tough tasks like these - that way, no one will ever know incidents like this one can happen.
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So much for AU shying away from its "party school" reputation. Yeah, we have a higher standard for GPAs and SAT scores these days, but a new book written by two of our alums could bring us back a few notches. "The Recovering Sorority Girls' Guide to a Year's Worth of Perfect Parties" by Deandra Brooks and Kristina Rose is going to be featured in the Alumni Authors Book Fair on Oct. 22. Because life after college is a huge party, right? Yeah, if a party includes paying off student loans.
- Compiled by the Scene staff
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