1. Hot Doggs
Rapper Snoop Dogg recently signed a deal with Platinum One Media to create a new line of foot-long hot dogs endorsed by the celebrity. "Snoop Doggs" are being made in Massachusetts and will hit stores in January. In other Dogg news, Snoop has a new film called "Boss'n Up" coming out Dec. 6. The music artist will play a broke grocery clerk who becomes a pimp in order to earn some cash. Couldn't he just sell some Snoop Doggs?
2. Black Friday
This Friday, people are gonna go nuts! Why? Because it's Black Friday! Everything is on sale! Repeat: everything is on sale! Those same people who were stuffing their faces with turkey Thursday will be scarfing down the savings 24 hours later. Like escaped zoo animals, these frantic mothers and maniacal shopaholics will lack all semblance of morality and respect for the law. Be there ... and beware!
3. "HonkyTonkBadonkadonk"
Trace Adkins' seminal country ditty about the impressive rears of some barely-clothed females finally fuses the gap between country music videos and "Chapelle's Show" sketches. Adkins' Honky-Tonk sensibility is clearly on display in this song with such lyrics as, "She's got it going on like Donkey Kong" and brass knuckles that spell the word "honky" on one hand and "tonk" on the other. Just Google the song title and enjoy - just don't turn away before the ending, because listening to Adkins' "smoky baritone" slowly mouthing, "Badonkadonk" must be seen in order to properly IM your friends.
4. Curling
As the air gets colder and people start to bundle up, it is important to take a moment to recognize a sport that is not given nearly the credit it is due. The great sport of curling must be acknowledged as the amazing triumph of athletic competition that it is. Bet you have never attempted to throw the puck with just the right amount of force and then stood, watching, while your two partners frantically swept at the ice, desperately trying to melt just the right amount of ice to create a thin layer of water upon which that puck can glide closer and closer to the intended goal. Yes, this is the sport of men, not boys. Give it, and those from areas far North enough to play it, respect.
5. Hot Pockets
Ah, glorious microwaveable food and its King, the Hot Pocket. Supreme pizza, ham and cheese and meatball flavors all beacon you to indulge in their delicious goodness. For the vegetarians: four cheese pizza pockets. For those dieting: Lean Pockets. Simply place the delicacy in its crisping sleeve and a mere two minutes later, you too can treat your stomach to this culinary delight. But for the love of God, follow the directions and wait at least a minute before biting into it! If not, the Hot Pocket will punish you for disrespecting one of its few laws by burning the top of your mouth. Bow down before His Majesty.
-Compiled by The Scene staff.
