"Crayons and profanity don't really go together."
-Kelly Joyner: AU Lit professor, "Harry Potter" fan and Out of Context veteran.
Those goshdarned raccoons are back! An Eagle staff writer walking down the McDowell Hall steps was minding his own business when he noticed the desk receptionists inside pointing frantically to something behind him. The staffer turned and saw a masked bandit of the animal kind. Flailing his arms wildly, the writer ran inside for safety. It was the second raccoon-led offensive this month. A spokesman for the raccoons said this is only the beginning.
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Over the weekend, one Eagle editor participated in the time-honored tradition of college football tailgating before the beginning of the Virginia Tech-North Carolina football game. The breaded chicken was fried to perfection, biscuits and rolls overflowed on a platter and the spicy mystery stew was piping hot. Then came the Virginia Tech football tradition. Virginia Tech's mascot is called a Hokie bird but, for lack of a better description, it is a glorified turkey. Thus tradition before the game was to take a long swig of a sweet liqeuor named Wild Turkey. This disgusting concoction tastes like a mixture of raspberry cough syrup and kerosene oil. So enjoy the final month of college football, but if anyone wants you to drink Wild Turkey, reach for a beer instead. Your taste buds will thank you. __
Recently at the Marketplace's very own Salsa, a sign for a "special" graced the tan counter. Salsa, which allegedly normally serves what they characterize as "Hearty Tex-Mex Favorites," was offering a "Quesadia" combo, which included a medium drink, for only $5.50. This would all be well and good if "Quesadia" didn't loosely translate to "day cheese." Every yin has a yang, so Salsa is presumably holding out on some sweet, sweet night cheese. __
The Rockville, Md., TGIFriday's off of Rockville Pike got a little bit romantic recently, as denoted by a hotly scrawled come-on that graced the inner pages of their laminated dinner menu. It was not clear at the time if the "Your hot!" was a message to or from the waiter. In either case, passion was evident, as the admirer was too swept away in the moment to watch his or her homonyms. __
Yellow. Jaundice. Baby. Rattle. Snake. Slitherin. Epic. Jesus. Hanukkah. Candles. Dinner. Broccoli. Giant. Cactus. Armadillo. Brown. Skid. Aramark. Unions. Civil. Freedom. Denied. Facebook. Poke. Gumby. Spike. Buffy. Massive. Juicy. Baseball. Peanuts. Charlie. Baron. Pizza. Study. Library. Quiet. Quite. English. Cricket. Pinocchio. Lies. True. Arnold. California. Blackout. Lights. Yellow. Ah, word association. It's good enough for the Scene staff, so try it with your friends!
-Compiled by the Scene staff.
