"I need a new dictionary. Mine doesn't have the word 'piss' in it." -Eagle friend S. E. Dobbs, on certain personal demands of our lexicon
Upon returning to AU after a semester abroad, a student soon became disgruntled at the local Container Store. The epitome of the American University yuppie, complete with slick iPod, absurd Starbucks concoction and sharp sweater vest, accosted the student and attempted to engage her in a loud conversation concerning his new townhouse. The student was not engaged. __
After a long night of partying, the trek back to campus can be perilous. Nonetheless, one student was in for quite a shock the other evening when he was confronted on 43rd Street by what appeared to be a bloodthirsty ninja, springing onto the sidewalk. Upon closer inspection, the alleged ninja proved to be a trash can that had fallen as a result of the evening's strong winds. __
On the recent broadcast of this year's Golden Globe awards, the show was kicked off with a smash hit from this summer altered to the beat of the overdressed, under-famous red carpet dwellers. "Doncha," a la the Pussycat Dolls, was turned into a depressing reminder of how vapid and shameless Hollywood and the like really can be. Complete with a zoom-in/zoom-out action shot of some hapless participant's sweet rack sandwiched between the smiling faces of George Clooney and Debra Messing. Aw, man. __
In an attempt to explain their "evidence of success," a popular area non-profit, in an unfortunate grammar mistake involving direct objects, accidentally stated in a press release that "350 students receive AIDS..." How unfortunate. __
This week at the Natural History Museum, two students stopped to check out the Hall of Mammals. Inside the exhibit, the students approached two other familiar AU faces, but stopped when they heard their conversation. "Dude, why does that wallaby's penis have a face?" "I don't know dude," his cohort explained. Perhaps the two will learn about marsupials this semester. __
"Hey will you show me that dance you did earler, man?" a funky boy asked his cool friend in TDR. "What dance?" he replied. "Actually, I think it may have been your Tourette's. Sorry." __
Mid-semester moves can always be rocky. Even if you're just changing floors or going from Maryland to Virginia and back again, there is always some kind of transition to endure. One Scene staff member experienced just such an occasion when she moved into the one-time bachelor pad of a friend of hers. Suddenly subject to the demands of a person not accustomed to ordering the Domino's five-five-five special every night, the apartment quickly acquired the necessary frying pant, sharp knives and leafy greens necessary for healthy eating habits. We at the Eagle wholeheartedly believe that gender stereotypes are not applicable in this situation, as the apartment is still void of cooking pots and both residents don't seem to mind. __
Panda cup Tai-Shan (a.k.a. Butterstick) was spotted being inconceivably cute on Monday while rolling around his habitat at the National Zoo. One AU student was heard remarking, "I was close enough to kill him. He's too cute to be alive." __
Oh, remember that apartment we were talking bout? The shower curtain was a forest of mildew. And there are weird toothpaste stains inside the curtain. Honestly.
-Compiled by the Scene staff every Thursday.
