It's that time of year again. The birds are singing, the cherry blossoms are blooming and the weather is just warm enough to start taking romantic walks through Georgetown or the mall. Everyone is thinking about love. But with love comes relationships, and with relationships come problems. Like not being able to find one.
Everyone has his or her individual issues with finding a partner. Some people don't have time. Others are afraid of commitment. Still others simply can't seem to find anyone they can see themselves really dating. But when those who have time and are willing to make a commitment find someone they like, there still remains a major problem.
The problem, it seems, is being stuck in "The Friend Zone."
For those who don't know, "The Friend Zone" happens when two people are friends and one wants to take it to the next level, but the other wants the relationship to remain strictly platonic. The friend who wants to take it to the next level is in "The Friend Zone."
Somehow, this seems to occur more often with the male population. This trend seems strange at first, because, as many female students lament, the gender ratios at AU are not at all in proportion. In fact, according to the Office of Institutional Research, the female/male ratio for the class of 2009 is 64 to 36. So why are guys having such problems finding relationships?
Perhaps the reason is deeper than it seems at first. "Girls tend to have a higher emotional need, and they look to guys to fulfill that need," says Niles Anderegg, a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences. "Going to college plays a part in that. Being away from family members who might ordinarily be there for support and comfort means that they have to find someone else to provide that support and comfort."
Thus, the reason many girls refer to their best male friends as being "like a brother." Unfortunately, this can be especially difficult when the support is needed during a time in which said girl is attempting to pursue a different guy.
But the FZ ensnares girls, too. It seems to be especially prevalent among females and their male gay friends. Sooner or later the female may become interested, and her friend, quite obviously, is not. It can take the same kind of toll on the friendship. "It can be really uncomfortable," said Michael Galvin, a senior in the School of International Service. "I just wind up avoiding her, and it really deteriorates the friendship."
As for the question that everyone wants answered: Is there a way out?
"Oh, I know this one. Maybe there's a formula or something," says Chad Bascomb, a junior in the School of Public Affairs. "Sometimes there's an outside event, something that hits both of you at once that you can't ignore, or some kind of major realization, like a chance of someone moving away that you realize you have feelings for."
Perhaps there's hope after all.
"I'm never friends with guys I'm not attracted to. I guess I always wind up in the friend zone." -Janelle Hasty, grad student in Kogod School of Business
"It's dangerous." -Daniel Gutman, sophomore in School of Public Affairs
"It's like "When Harry Met Sally." Guys and girls can't really be friends without other things getting in the way." -Jessamyn Fuller, sophomore in SPA
"Just don't make it too complex." -Luis Sandoval, sophomore in KSB
