01. The Davenport Coffee Lounge Commonly referred to as "the Dav," or "the 'Port" to avoid confusion with "the Tav," a common abbreviation of the grease pit in MGC. As one of AU's myriad coffee shops, we at The Beagle have empirical evidence supporting our hypothesis that out of all those coffee shops, the 'Port has its head furthest up its ass. We officially endorse the Mud Box. Tastes like capitalism!
02. Hippies DUDE PATCHOULI STINX and their chalk thingies are still fucking there. Clean up after yourselves.
03. Mr. American What a sham of a contest. The only thing less meaningful than the winner of Mr. American 2k6 is the leftist agenda.
04. Jen Turner What a complete jerkface! She loves lame crap only and hates everything else. Which leads us to number five.
05. Hate Of all the emotions we humans can emote, hate is by far the shittiest. What a fucking bullshit emotion. The only way hate can be tolerated is if it's veiled in a healthy layer of sarcasm and/or irony.
