Lady in the Water Directed by M. Night Shyamalan With Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeffrey Wright Rated PG-13 Now playing
Grade: D
A sardonic statistician might plot an M. Night Shyamalan curve. According to the Web site Rotten Tomatoes, 76 percent of major film critics enjoyed seeing dead people in his first big hit, "The Sixth Sense," but only 55 percent could stand follow-up "Unbreakable." "Signs" maintained the status quo with 58 percent approval, but 2004's "The Village" fell below the equator with 46 percent.
Now Shyamalan's "Lady In The Water" is in theatres, but those holding on for his next "Sixth Sense" will have to keep on treading.
Someone has been swimming in the apartment building pool after-hours. When Superintendent Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) attempts to investigate, he nearly drowns in the process. A young girl (Bryce Dallas Howard) rescues him, but she's no ordinary lady. Turns out she's a nymph sent from the seas to inspire a writer whose words will in turn inspire a great leader. But there's bad news, too; a monster wolf is determined to kill her. It will be up to Cleveland and the tenants of his building to protect her so she can get back home safely.
Briefly, it's kind of like if someone took the 1984 Darryl Hannah mermaid comedy "Splash" and sprinkled in a little "E.T." and "Terminator."
"Lady" has an identity crisis. Deep down it's a fable, a bedtime fantasy story about a sea nymph who makes contact with the human world. But Shyamalan doesn't seem confident the audience will go for that, so he tries grounding the movie with laughs from the building's eccentric tenants. Then he throws in a hungry, red-eyed wolf to provide a few scares. Oh and hey, is that an anti-war message?
Though it's no easy task to make what's essentially a mermaid movie believable, several aspects of the movie are absolutely frustrating. Why doesn't anyone boring live in the building? Where did Cleveland learn to hold his breath that long? Why would scary wolves be predators of sea nymphs? Why would scary monkeys be predators of scary wolves? And what wisdom could possibly be interpreted from the back of a cereal box?
About halfway through, the film realizes it's completely absurd. A film critic within the movie (Bob Balaban) even starts predicting what will happen based on his knowledge of movie clich?s, and he's never really far from the truth.
If there's any redeeming aspect of the movie, it's the casting of Giamatti. The actor, usually known for supporting roles, is very likable here and provides a lot of the film's comedy. Unfortunately, he's the only character with any dimension. The rest of the cast includes a cold, emotionless mermaid, a humbled "chosen one" played lifelessly by Shyamalan himself, and a bunch of zany apartment owners.
"Lady In The Water" has an interesting premise, but sinks under the dead weight of a clich?-ridden script. Shyamalan continues along his downward spiral, and one can only hope we're wading through the worst of it.
