When torrential rain displaced my friends from their humble abode this summer, they scrambled to find a place that met their requirements: close to campus, reasonably priced and with enough bedrooms for all of them.
What they found was an affordable house, a little smaller than they wanted but in a prime location. Situated behind Tenley Mini-Mart, less than a block from Chipotle and 7-11 and only a stone's throw from McDonald's, it was the perfect place for them. Now buying booze and cigarettes and satisfying their late-night munchies would be easier than ever before. Who would have thought that convenience could ever become a burden?
Many believe that the key to college relationships is convenience. I personally am one of those people. What I define as a "convenient relationship" is a booty call that can be in your room at any given time in less than 30 minutes or your money back. Purists may adhere to dating, sharing and other intimacies; those institutions are not pertinent to this week's discussion. But there is something to be said for the nature of certain conveniences. With little room for strict assignment of roles or responsibilities, it is easy for these arrangements to fall apart rather quickly.
The obvious example of this kind of relationship is the classic fuck buddy/booty call binary where both partners are equally disinterested in serious commitment but nevertheless would resort to eye-scratching and name-calling if they ever saw the other with someone else. Because of the fluid nature of this arrangement and the fact that it is largely fueled by alcohol, it can become very volatile in a very short amount of time. An unanswered phone call one night and reluctance to acknowledge each other in normal social settings can strain and break the carefree ties that somehow tighten into a noose.
My friend finally had the chance to sleep with the girl he'd fantasized about since freshman year. They began sleeping together on a semi-regular basis before any problems arose. When she failed to invite him to her team's social occasions, he began to get tired feeling like Dial-a-Fuck.
The only problem? The sex was great. Through gradual integration into her social sphere and a relaxation on both of their expectations, they eased back into what they both had originally desired: someone to call as they stumble home, who can hopefully bring them to orgasm before they pass out.
But these kinds of relationships rarely last long. Despite the presumed promiscuity and resentment for not being included in other aspects of each other's lives, there is the lure of future conquests that seem inhibited by this preexisting arrangement.
This can also be true of serious relationships nearing their end. What might have been a loving and emotional connection can turn into a product of convenience. Though the butterflies have long flown away, it is sometimes easier to stay with someone who holds the key to your heart and knows the combination to your clitoris.
Flying solo can be very scary when you are used to sharing your nest. My friend is preparing to spend the semester abroad, and though she and her boyfriend plan to separate for the semester, they have continued hooking up, since she's still around.
Then there are times when it is merely the convenience of the moment that can motivate a renewed connection. I awoke fully clothed on my ex's couch this weekend. Apparently my plan to make his birthday party bearable by over-medicating with gin and tonic worked like a charm. I entered his bedroom and the sight of him sleeping there evoked pleasant memories, and the effortlessness of the situation seemed to make it OK to hook up -- although we remain merely good friends.
As Americans and young people, naturally we want convenience. I overpay for food on campusfood.com just so I don't have to reenter my credit card information. But there are times when convenience can become more a curse than a blessing. The booty call you rely on to flock to your bedside never answers your late night text. "Is he fucking someone else?" you think. "I bet that bastard is with his ex!" Your no-strings connection gets tied up in knots.
What will happen when you're forced to depart the boyfriend you can't bear to break up with? Maybe it would have been better to spend some time by yourself. Then there's my brief morning reminiscence. Now I sometimes worry that he'll think I still want him, when it was only an opportunity too convenient to pass up.
Convenience is great, and obviously location is key. But don't be surprised if it only makes bad habits easier to perpetuate. Luckily I don't spend every night at my friends' house, because their drinking, smoking and late-night visits to the Van Ness McDonald's don't seem to be waning anytime soon.
