Welcome back. We have a couple brilliant films for you this time around, as well as some of the usual schlock put out by the studios as they clear their slate for the holiday season. Also this week, we have a special guest writer reviewing a movie everyone should be lined up to see on opening day. So come on in, grab some popcorn, pick up your banjo and settle into the Trailer Park.
"The Return" Opens Nov. 10 Rogue Pictures (Focus)
Halloween is coming, so it's obviously time for Sarah Michelle Gellar to get into some crazy supernatural business. You know how it goes: She'll run, hide, and scream for an hour before realizing, "Wait a minute! I'm Buffy." Then she kicks the ass of whatever it is that's chasing her. Honestly, it's hard to tell what this one's about other than it looks like a mishmash of "The Ring 2," "Darkness Falls," "Boogeyman" and "The Skeleton Key." Not that anyone's actually seen those movies.
"Rocky Balboa (Rocky VI)" Opens Dec. 22 Columbia Pictures
Now here's a word or two from this week's guest writer, Pat Ambrosio:
In 10 seconds, the trailer for "Rocky VI" makes one forgive Sly Stallone for making "Rocky V." The second the Columbia Pictures logo came up and the Rocky theme started playing, it was as if that travesty never happened.
Sure, there are some glaring problems. Stallone is 60, the plot revolves around a video game simulation that predicts Rocky would win if he fought the current world champion, and of course Antonio Tarver's character may have the cheesiest name in villain history: Mason "The Line" Dixon. But the trailer gives fans glimpses of everything they could want, overshadowing any logical complaint. From Rocky training by punching raw meat to footage of Rocky being pummeled in slow motion by Dixon, it was the perfect way to show that the film is a throwback to its roots. This isn't brain-damaged Rocky; this is the man who single-handedly ended the Cold War and awkwardly embraced Carl Weathers on a California beach.
Watch this trailer and try to not get excited by the end. Let's start building some hurtin' bombs.
"Pan's Labyrinth" Picturehouse Opens Dec. 29
All signs point to yes for this film. Guillermo del Toro's latest blend of fantasy and realism thrusts a young girl living in Franco's fascist Spain into mystical intrigue in the labyrinth on her evil stepfather's property. I don't know how he does it, but del Toro continually pushes the envelope in terms of sheer visual style and captivating plot. It is rated R for a reason, but with del Toro at the top of his game, this movie promises to be nothing short of phenomenal.
"Lucky You" Opens March 16 Warner Bros. Pictures
Capitalizing on the popularity of poker a little bit too late in the game is probably going to hurt this movie. The cast seems like it can pull it off, but there doesn't appear to be any chemistry between Drew Barrymore and Eric Bana. It just isn't there, mainly because it's Drew Barrymore and Eric Bana. This one is a long way out, so who knows how it will perform in early spring, but one thing is for sure: This isn't "Rounders," and despite the fact that he's so damn grizzled, Robert Duvall is no replacement for John Malkovich as the heavy in a poker-themed film.
