Dear Blair Bryant,
I know this isn't technically "sex advice," but it kind of relates to sex and I figured you'd be a good person to ask. It's my first college Halloween coming up and I want to make my costume as sexy as possible. I know it's so typical to be a slutty nurse, vampire, witch, etc. So what are some good ideas that aren't so clich? that will still make the boys want to "bob for my apples," so to speak? What are you going to be?
-Hopeful Halloween Ho
Dear Hopeful Halloween Ho,
Well, I am so glad you asked. First of all, you are right that all of those costumes are clich? and require little if no inspiration. I am not usually a fan of anyone who just picks up a pre-made costume, whether it be from online or your local adult store. I think an original idea with pieces you select yourself is the best way to go to really impress both the boys and the girls.
If you can go as any of the female characters from recent comic book movies or model any music video look of a pop princess, you will probably be popular with most of the guys. If you want to avoid trying to look famous, then you could do something more abstract. Put together an incredibly sexy outfit that follows a certain theme or color scheme and go as something like a Snow Queen, with furry boots, a short skirt and a hot top. Pick a season, a location, or anything else that you can turn into a themed outfit and just own it.
As for me, I am bringing back my greatest hits, so I guess I'll be bringin' my own sexy back as well. The roller skating hooker, gay mechanic and perhaps even the Studio 54 disco slut will reappear. And after careful deliberation I think it is only fitting that I go as a congressional page. The only question is, should I pass out my screen-name or just ask people to direct me to their caucus?
Dear Blair Bryant,
I'm a first-year law student at the WCL and I have to admit that it's kind of weird having all of these undergraduates all over me via Facebook. Now I know that I am not much older than them, but law school is such a different world I just don't think I would really be able to relate to undergrads anymore. At the same time some of these kids are pretty cute and I don't think it would be a good idea to get involved with other law students. What do you suggest?
-Lustful Law Student
Dear Lustful Law Student,
First of all, relax. They are just poking you on Facebook, not demanding paternity tests! Though the divide between undergrad and graduate school might not be chronologically significant, I can see how the rigors of law school could introduce an intellectual or developmental boundary. But you were once an undergrad yourself, so you know what the lifestyle is like.
If you do decide to rob the proverbial cradle, then just make sure you don't expect too much from these kids. They will probably be keeping erratic late-night hours that might not fit into your law school schedule. However, although they probably aren't vapid valley girls, your conversations might not drift into legal theory.
So if your immediate classmates are off-limits and you decide to sample from main campus, just retain an open mind and you might be pleasantly surprised with the relief from discussions of torts, contracts and whatever other legal mumbo-jumbo you study.
Blair Bryant Nichols' column, "Everybody does it..." appears in The Eagle each Thursday. Blair also gives weekly sex advice for The Eagle, which appears in Q&A format each Monday.
E-mail your sex queries to blairbryant.nichols@gmail.com. Answers will appear in future issues, but we'll keep your name to ourselves. Come on! Everybody does it...
