Our parents always told us, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." Well that is just plain stupid. Obviously you don't get a SECOND chance to make a FIRST impression, but we all understood what it meant. People are eager to judge and thus construct their entire opinion of you based on your initial meeting.
When I was younger I bought into this wholeheartedly, trying my best to always look bright and shiny for the first day of school and always introducing myself warmly with a handshake and a smile. However, as we get older, we begin to realize that some first impressions don't matter quite as much, and we start to take them less seriously. I have come to realize that my peers, especially fellow AU students, have already formed opinions of me before we ever speak face to face.
Due to the size and nature of our campus, you rarely meet a person without having heard something about them before. I enjoy working vigorously to reinforce their preconceived notion, be it positive, or reverse it, be it negative. My freshman year was largely spent shocking people that I was a somewhat intelligent person with a little bit of substance, and it's been an entertaining uphill struggle ever since.
First impressions obviously span farther than our classmates, to our professors, employers and potential mates and lovers. The first day of class last semester just happened to fall on the morning after my 21st birthday and I decided long in advance that there was no way I would be going to my 8:30 class. When I arrived at the class for its second meeting, I went up to the professor to ask for a syllabus.
"What? You just decided you didn't want to come last time?" she said.
Now, I had prepared for this. I had thought about telling her I thought I was going to drop it or that I was confused about the time or the location of the classroom. Instead I blurted out, "No, actually it was my 21st birthday the night before." She rolled her eyes and I retreated to my seat.
I thought I had shot the entire semester by blowing my one chance at making a good first impression, but I don't think she ever remembered me saying that. I worked hard, came to class and ended up with an A. Sometimes we can reverse a misstep by moving steadily in the right direction the rest of the time. With employers it's obvious that you want to dress nicely and be polite and professional, but what about after you have begun to work there? At every job or internship I have ever had, I begin by working quietly and keeping to myself, allowing my personality to reveal itself slowly. When they finally realize I am a competent worker who is also capable of making them wet their pants, they wonder why I wasn't so rambunctious to begin with.
But you never know how someone is going to react to an offhand comment or how much personal sharing is considered too much. You have to let your true self develop gradually while constantly reinforcing the fact that you are a hard and efficient worker.
So what about when your grade or your job isn't on the line? Why do we try our best to make a good first impression when we begin dating someone? On my date with a 26-year-old playwright last Friday, I found myself slipping into my usual first-date mode. I was relaxed and confident, talking only about interesting and intelligent topics, asking questions about things he had brought up and not allowing there to be a lull in the conversation. First dates are a breeze for me, but after each first date is over I begin to wonder how much of me was really expressed. I can never shake the feeling that I put on the same performance every time as a compilation of my more mature attributes, to offset my young age and habits. If the person I present doesn't give a full picture of myself, how can they know if I am the type of person they are looking for?
First impressions may be important in every interaction we'll encounter, but I can only hope that even on our bad days someone who is right for us will be able to catch a glimpse of something special even if we don't knock them off their feet at first.
And with that I would just like to issue a general statement to anyone who may have watched my friends and I dance at the bar last Friday after my so-so first date. The "shopping-cart," "fishing line" and "sprinkler" are making a comeback, so you shouldn't judge us on those moves alone. We've got plenty more if you get to know us.
