This week's Trailer Park has me asking many questions, all of them rhetorical, and most of them involving why Hollywood hates the American public. They continue to flood the market with terrible remakes, sequels and just plain bad ideas. With that in mind, I tried to throw a couple good ones in here, but just go with me on the rants that make up the remaining reviews. Now, without further ado...
"Keeping Mum" ThinkFilm Now playing
Do you ever wonder what would happen if your housekeeper were a murderer and decided to fix all of your family's problems the only way she knew how? Now put Dame Maggie Smith in the evil Mary Poppins role with Rowan Atkinson as her employer and Patrick Swayze as the golf pro putting the moves on Atkinson's wife. Indie comic gold! I realize that this already saw a limited release in the U.S., but I couldn't let it slide since Apple.com just released the trailer last week. Keep it in the back of your mind for your next trip to Blockbuster or just add it to your Netflix list. It's a shame this one didn't get a wider release, but hopefully it will find life on DVD, like many of the British imports do and this one deserves.
"Deck the Halls" 20th Century Fox Opens Nov. 22
Do you remember that episode of "Home Improvement" where Tim Allen competes with his neighbor for the best Christmas light display in the city? Note: You don't actually have to remember this episode-the theme was repeated throughout sitcoms in the 1990s. Well, imagine that exploded into a feature-length film starring washed-up Matthew Broderick and Danny Devito as competing neighbors trying to demonstrate the true spirit of the season. The trailer shows just about every lowest common denominator schlock movie trick that exists for movies like this and just makes me lose a little bit more of the faith that I have in the movie industry. Do yourself a favor when this comes out: head to Best Buy, pick up "Jingle All the Way," invite your friends over and enjoy the power of a true holiday classic.
"Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj" MGM Opens Dec. 1
Has it really been four years since "Van Wilder" came out? I'll admit that that movie is a guilty pleasure of mine and is nearly perfect except for one stomach-churning scene. Since Hollywood ran out of original ideas about five years ago, the sequel was inevitable. The only problem is that they took out all the funny parts of the first one, namely Ryan Reynolds, and replaced them with the worst parts, namely Kal Penn reprising his character for the title role of this movie. Throw a healthy dose of "Revenge of the Nerds" and maybe a little bit of "Old School" into the mix and you have the makings of an appallingly bad movie. Penn needs to stop wasting his talents on crap sequels like this and give us a sequel like "Harold & Kumar Go to Amsterdam."
"The Good Shepard" Universal Pictures Opens Dec. 22
How do directors and producers pull together amazing casts like this? They managed it earlier this month with "The Departed" and seem to have pulled it off again. This movie reunites Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro (who also stepped behind the camera for this movie), but the real star of the movie is Matt Damon, who has been on a roll since "Syriana" came out. His character is an operative who gets in on the ground floor of the CIA and rides it out throughout the Cold War. Suspicion, paranoia and the sacrifices he makes grow with each passing year. It looks like an interesting character drama and really does have star power going for it, with the only exception being Angelina Jolie, who continues playing herself, but I'll give her a pass here because I have faith in this movie. Don't miss this one come December.
"Codename: The Cleaner" New Line Cinema Opens April 13, 2007
Didn't they already make this movie? Wasn't it called "The Man Who Knew Too Little?" That movie was hilarious, whereas this one looks to continue a long strain of movies where Cedric the Entertainer fails to live up to his moniker. I want to know who helped choose him as one of the "Original Kings of Comedy." I want to find them and destroy them for helping to unleash this on the world. Oh wait, there's supposed to be a review in here somewhere ... um ... Cedric the Entertainer is an amnesiac janitor who is tricked into thinking he's a secret agent by federal agents. Add Lucy Liu as that federal agent and Nicollette Sheridan as one of the villains and this equals AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS. Yeah, that about does it for this one. Just please don't see it.
