I'll be honest; this is probably the most self-indulgent column I've written yet. Nobody cares about hockey, and I'm fine with that, because I still do. This column isn't even funny like I usually try to make it, but you might end up laughing at how ridiculous the New York Islanders are. They have gone from a dynasty to a joke, and I guess I just want everyone to understand our pain.
The Islanders were once one of the best teams in the NHL. I really can't even explain how rich of a history they have, so just go to YouTube and search "New York Islanders Tradition" and watch the video. I was too young to see the dynasty years (I was born and they stopped winning), but they sucked me in during the 1993 playoffs, when they knocked off the two-time defending champion Penguins in a Game 7 that went to overtime.
Since then it's all been downhill, highlighted by these five events, any of which would haunt a team's fan base. Fans of the Cubs and Clippers can complain all they want, but even they have to feel bad for us. Sadly, the fact that their arena is falling apart and their owner sent scouts to Japan to look for sumo wrestlers to play goalie don't even make the cut.
1. The Turgeon Trade (1995)
Pierre Turgeon was the best player on that 1993 playoff team. At the end of the first round series against Washington, he was cross-checked into the boards while celebrating a goal, separating his shoulder. He missed the series against Pittsburgh but somehow made it back to play in the next series.
Late in the 1995 season, my father came home from work and told me that they had traded Turgeon. I thought that he was kidding, since he was a Ranger fan, but sadly he was not. Turgeon was traded for Kirk Mueller and Mathieu Schneider, neither of whom lasted very long. The team would not make the playoffs for another seven seasons.
2. The Jersey Change (1995)
The fact that the Islanders were one of the worst teams in the league just wasn't enough for management; they needed to give Ranger fans something else to make fun of us for. Enter the fisherman logo. In theory, it was a logo that further tied the team to Long Island culture. In reality, it looked like the Gorton's fisherman was riding on a wave of toothpaste. Fans of the Buffalo Sabres may have complained when their new logo was released, but at least they're winning in it. The Islanders finished in last place that season.
3. The Fake Owner (1996):
After three seasons of not making the playoffs, owner John Pickett Jr. wanted to sell. There were rumors of the Islanders moving to another city. Enter John Spano, a Dallas businessman who swooped in to save the team and keep it on Long Island. He promised to renovate the Nassau Coliseum (no corporate sponsors for us, probably because companies would be ashamed to put their name on it), and return the team to glory.
Three months later, newspapers started reporting that Spano was already late on making payments for the team. Then it came out that Spano, who claimed to be worth $150 million, was a fraud. That's right - some guy rented a limo, met with the NHL and Islanders management, and bought a hockey team without proving that he actually had any money. Only on Long Island.
4. The Worst GM in Sports (1994-2006)
I won't go through all the bad moves Mike Milbury made during his tenure as general manager, it would take too long. All I will say is that at this time last year, Isiah Thomas was not the worst GM in New York - Milbury was. He hired and fired 10 coaches in 10 seasons, including himself twice. He traded away countless all-stars and signed Alexei Yashin to a 10-year contract.
5. The Back-up Goalie (2006-Present)
When Milbury got promoted (that's right, promoted, not fired) to another position within the organization, the Islanders hired Neil Smith as the general manager, a man who actually knows how to put a winning team together. He was fired a little over a month later, apparently for clashing with owner Charles Wang, who wanted the general manager to be a part of a "board of executives" who made player decisions.
Instead, Garth Snow, who was the Islanders' back-up goalie, retired and was named general manager/Wang's "Yes Man." One of his first moves was to give goalie Rick DiPietro a record-breaking 15-year contract. At this point, this wasn't even surprising, it was just more of the same.
This season, the Islanders started out losing their first three games. Then something weird happened: they started winning. They are currently in second place in their division, just two points behind the Rangers. Over Thanksgiving, I watched all three games, and they dominated their opponents in victories.
Will it last? I doubt it, but other than the 2002 playoffs (where I was just happy to actually be in the playoffs), this is the first time since elementary school that they aren't an embarrassment. For the thousands of Islander fans left, that's what we call progress.
