Let me apologize for not having this in last week, readers. I received complaints from some of you for not having written it. This edition of The Trailer Park is going to be a little shorter than usual (and not just because two of the movies have Peter Dinklage in lead roles), but bear with me.
"Shrek the Third"
(DreamWorks Animation)
May 18
I didn't really care for the second "Shrek" film, aside from how it featured Antonio Banderas, so when news of a third film came out I knew it would have to make up a lot of the ground lost after the sequel. After seeing this trailer, I'm still not too sure that it will be able to do that. It looks to benefit from a greater focus on the supporting characters in the franchise, which should be read as not Donkey and Shrek, easily the least funny characters in this universe. The trailer also gets points for its brief use of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song." Chances are I'll be seeing "Pirates of the Caribbean" that weekend anyway along with half of the world, so "Shrek the Third" is really hit or miss.
"Penelope "
(The Weinstein Company)
April 6
After baring her body in "Black Snake Moan," Christina Ricci has decided to spend "Penelope" dressed well, complete with a scarf wrapped around the lower half of her face. Interestingly, she was born under a curse that gave her the nose and ears of a pig. The only cure is to find someone of blue blood to love her despite the deformity.
It's a tried and true fairy tale, but the modern spin and exceptional cast, which includes Catherine O'Hara, James McAvoy, Reese Witherspoon and Peter Dinklage, should make this worth a trip to the movies upon release.
"Next"
(Revolution Studios)
April 27
I essentially cast away Nicolas Cage's last film endeavor, "Ghost Rider," and I'm pretty sure this film will be no more successful. Cage plays a man who can see the future. While normally he can only see his own future, his abilities are unlocked by Jessica Biel, and he has seen massive destruction in the future. Long story short: The government wants him so it can prevent the tragedy, but he doesn't want to go quietly.
I don't know who Cage's agent is, but he or she needs to be fired, because his last few films have been ridiculous. Another ominous sign is film director Lee Tamahori, the man responsible for the death of the James Bond franchise with "Die Another Day."
On the bright side, I did learn something in viewing this trailer. Nuclear explosions don't vaporize everything in their path, they actually have the ability to lift whole tankers out of the ocean to throw at the protagonist -- isn't that something? Do yourself a favor: When this comes out, stay in and rent "The Rock," "Con-Air" or "Face/Off," then sit and ponder the slow and agonizing demise of Cage's career.
"Underdog"
(Walt Disney Pictures)
August 3
It's just a teaser and an obvious parody of the "Superman Returns" trailer, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this movie has the potential to be better than "Superman Returns." It wouldn't have to try very hard and it already has a leg up on the competition through the casting of Jason Lee as the voice of Shoeshine Boy, alias Underdog. In addition, it has Peter Dinklage in it as the villain, Simon Barsinister. Oh, it's also about a dog that can fly and fights crime. What could be better than that?
