In 2003, when France refused to support our plan to invade Iraq, Americans started calling french fries "freedom fries." This is ironic because our "freedom fries" are now anything but free. Recently, the federal and state governments of our wonderful country have been banning trans fats and other artery-clogging oils from fried foods.
I like eating healthily. I like salad, broccoli and spinach, but just like most other Americans, I also like fries so soaked in grease that they slip down my throat before I even have a chance to chew them. Consequently, I know I may become very fat and die early, but that's the way I want it, and that's the way I should get it. Patrick Henry said, "Give me liberty or give me death." I say, "Give me greasy fries that will eventually bring me said death."
But banning trans fats illustrates a much more serious problem. Ever since FDR's New Deal, the American people have slowly surrendered their freedoms in exchange for security. First, we relied upon the government to feed us when our cupboards ran dry. Then, we relied on the government to provide for us in our twilight and pay our medical bills. And now, after half a century of slow erosion, we rely on it to tell us how to eat.
This depressing situation extends further than our dinner plates. Across "the land of the free," it has become criminal to smoke. In state after state, legislatures are enacting laws that forbid people from lighting up in restaurants and bars. So now, when I sit down to enjoy my lobster, some jerk's smoke gently wafting into my face will no longer spoil it. No - the only thing that spoils my dinner now is the smell of the Constitution's burning parchment. I say, if you don't like your Fettuccine Alfredo with a side of Marlboro, then you can exercise your rights as an American and move your trans fat-enlarged self out the door. If enough people do just that, then Joe Restaurant Owner will have to make the right business choice and ban smoking in his restaurant.
But go ahead, let's tax and hassle smokers with this backdoor prohibition. Then, when we're all done with that, let's move on to what many consider to be the No. 1 premature killer in the United States, just beating out smoking by a mere 928,000 deaths - abortion.
Don't get confused, this is not just a "conservative" issue. Since the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling, the government has done its best to enforce restrictions on abortion. While I, like many people, have slight moral trepidations about abortion, the fact is that the government, Republican or Democrat, is unabashedly expanding its influence on all fronts. As a nation, we must make a choice now before it is too late. Either we must sacrifice our rights to the state for security and peace of mind, or we must decide that we wish to retain a tradition more American than apple-pie and remain skeptical of overly strong, controlling governments.
Remember this next time you want to cheer another tax on cigarettes or when the government unfurls a new plan to combat obesity in the United States. Though these measures may be noble in idea, they are not noble in nature. And they ultimately lead to more serious problems (think Patriot Act) as we continue accepting Uncle Sam's heavy-handed guidance. Consequently, we must also remember that as individuals, we must not rely solely on lawmakers to right our wrongs and correct our imperfections. We are not children, and as such, when we trip and scrape our knee or splatter tomato sauce over our face, we must be able to wipe ourselves off.
Charlie Szold is a freshman in the School of Public Affairs and a conservative columnist for The Eagle.
