Something about working at The Eagle seems to squash staff members' love lives. In an effort to make this Valentine's Day more exciting, some of the team has taken matters into their own hands. If one of these personal ads strikes your fancy, send an e-mail to cupid@theeagleonline.com with the ad's title as the subject with your response.
W4M - Tough Love in Search of Love
Can do whole Soulja Boy dance, loves going to the bars on a Sunday night. Interests include lamenting, French, regaining the upper hand and freaking out. Looking for a straightforward guy, no bull. Man up.
M4W - Southern Comfort
Hey y'all. Laidback hipster lookin' for a Southern reg. Loves music, fidelity and someecards.com. Fans of Mudvayne need not apply.
M4W - Flash This!
Lonely photographer seeks subject for artsy nudes. Has seen "Busty Cops 3," looking for a babe to watch the first two installments with. Loves livin' the dream.
W4MM - Dirty Duo
Adventurous and energetic, but still chill, seeks two men to tire her out. Puts the "unk" in "funk." Karl Rove and Bill O'Reilly need not apply.
M4W - Short Stack
Quiet and shy, but mysterious and full of sunshine. Likes his women like he likes his pancakes: short, round and golden brown. Turn ons: good diction.
M4C - Below the Border
Peruvian sexpot seeks female clown for foolin' around. Tall, dark and mysterious with a quirky sense of humor. Lookin' for late night rendezvous at Taco Bell.
W4M - Clean Cut
Lovely Italian lady looking for a nice Jewish or Irish Catholic boy. Foreskinned need not apply.
W4M - Margaritaville Madam
Freshman lush seeks date to Guapo's. Looking for warm arms for the cold night air. Men with cankles need not apply.
W4M - Greek Life
Sex goddess seeking her Adonis. Will give ANYTHING for a good laugh. No tan, no date.
W4M - Like Butta
Nice Jewish girl with a VERY seductive side loves kugel, bagels and lox. Likes puns, running and muffins. Turn off: the back of a Volkswagen.
W4M - Sex Pistol
Spunky and sassy artistic punk, always looking for a good time, no matter where she is. The weirder the place, the better. Turn ons: ironic mustaches, tight pants and sick tats.
M4M - Shopping for Love
Tall and trendy, looking for 6' to 6'3" guy. Sexually aroused by granola yogurt parfaits, shopping sprees at the Shopping Centre at Pentagon City and secret rendezvous at the Textile Museum. Funyun-lovers need not apply.
M4H - Brokeback
Lonely cowboy looking for a horse to ride. Sturdy boots and a mighty gallop a must. Outgoing and opinionated. Seeks official Facebook relationship.
M4W - I can haz d8?
Web-savvy, muscular freshman looking for a sorority gal. Totes prefers IM to IRL. Fluent in HTML, AP style and love.
M4W - XXX
Sexy man-beast looking for seductive, exotic temptress. If you tickle my fancy, I'll show you a good time.
