The key to getting what you want in a relationship ultimately lies in what some lovingly call "gaining the upper hand." The upper hand can be held by either person in the relationship and can change often. There are some relationships that are balanced, but these are generally long-term relationships in which the couple has been together for at least many months. In shorter-term relationships, there is almost always an imbalance between the two lovers.
Many factors contribute to gaining the upper hand, some of which are known but not executed because they require much self-discipline, not to mention risks - and generally people do not want to gamble with their love life.
One of the main ways to judge who has more power in the relationship is to examine the phone calls made by both people. The first factor in this situation is who calls whom. It is pretty obvious that generally the person who makes the majority of the phone calls is the one who feels more insecure in the relationship or demonstrates a greater need for communication with their special friend. The flip side of this situation is when these phone calls are basically booty calls and the other person obliges, then the opposite is true.
The booty call itself is another great way to determine who has the upper hand. If one person always determines where the booty call will be, they hold the upper hand. If the relationship revolves around the booty call and there is little time spent together outside of the bed (or wherever else sex is being had), it could be assumed that there is no upper hand, rather a general lack of a relationship.
Once one finds out that he or she does not hold the upper hand, a decision must be made. Should the status quo change, or are you happy in your lower position? If the latter is true, well then, more power to you, baby. But if it is time for a change, there are ways to go about it without gambling too much. Generally, it involves a few factors, and though they might seem difficult or risky, they will either work or show that the other person did not want to put any time or compromise into the relationship, and thus make it easier to move on.
The simplest way is to cut back on trying to contact the other person. This is basically playing a little hard to get and will make you not seem like a clingy or needy wretch. It will also show if the other person will attempt to make contact because he or she wants to be with you. The key to making this succeed is being steadfast and not giving in to the desire to pick up the phone and dial.
The most powerful way, though, to gain the upper hand is by learning a sexual trick that blows their mind. If you can offer something sexually that the person loves and has not experienced before, it is an almost certain way to gain the upper hand in any relationship. My suggestion is to do research. There are many online sites with tips and tricks for pleasing someone. Trial and error is probably the best bet with a shorter relationship, and if you can find what that person likes and get them off like never before, you can gain an upper hand that will never go away.
