One evening last summer, during a slow night at work, I was talking to some of my fellow waiters and waitresses about my impending departure for Japan. The consensus seemed to be that if they were in my position, they would be nervous about leaving the country for a year. I wasn't nervous about it, and told them so, but it did make me realize I wasn't sure exactly how I felt about it. I knew there would be things I would miss about the United States, but I also knew there would be things I would not miss - and that the same would be true about Japan when I came back.
After seven months Japan, I have a good idea about those things I do and do not (and will or will not) miss. First on the list is food. Probably everyone who studies abroad has a few favorites from back home that are hard or impossible to find, and I probably have it better in Tokyo than most, but boy do I miss Cheez-Its, big jars of peanut butter, Sprite and normal pepperoni and sausage pizza (putting French fries on pizza is sort of a good idea, I guess, but corn, shrimp and broccoli? No).
On the other hand, I'll miss ramen shops, tonkatsu and the handy bento lunch boxes that can be bought at just about any convenience store. Being a poor college student, I am also pleased with the wide range of choices available to the discerning instant noodle consumer - a range of choices which is quite a bit better than the basic choices available at home. Hell, I might even miss rice, since I'm so used to eating it every day here.
One thing I know I will not miss is my dorm. Living in Anderson wasn't a whole lot better, but at least there I could shave with hot water and not have to push a lever in the shower every few seconds to keep the water going. I also won't have to worry about the crazy old lady who runs the dorm shutting off the electricity to the kitchen because she was mad people didn't wash their dishes.
Most confusing of all is the ban against allowing anyone who does not live in the dorm to visit at any time, be they friend or family. To explain this, they tell us a story about a girl who once upon a time lived in our very dorm and brought her "father" in for a visit, when such things were allowed. But strange noises began emanating from her room shortly thereafter, and it turned out he was not her father after all, and even though she was an adult who could make her own decisions about who to sleep with, they decided to ban everyone from the dorm and, well, it's a bunch of bullshit is the point I'm trying to make. I am very much looking forward to having my own house in D.C. next year.
I have thought of many things, large and small, that I miss about the U.S. or will miss about Japan, but despite my thoughts either way, I realize now the extent to which I consider America my true home. But I have also reached the conclusion that I don't miss it as much as many others would; I like living in foreign countries, and I hope to do so throughout my life. I've written before about how foreigners often feel out of place in Japan, and I honestly don't care about whether I feel out of place or not, because I know that I will always have a place to return to in the U.S. In my life there may be many places around the world that I live, and I hope there are, but I think there will only be one place I am from.
