In this column, I typically aim to praise the higher and more noteworthy points in the spectrum of pop culture. Yet as you examine society's makeup, you begin to notice the rain clouds in the midst of the rainbow. For every "Dark Knight," there is a "Batman Forever," for every Angelina Jolie, a Lindsay Lohan. It can be difficult to maneuver amidst these portals of darkness on your road to enlightenment, so here I give you the Seven Deadly Sins of Pop Culture: a culmination of all the pratfalls you should aim to avoid, lest your road to reason take a sharp turn from Hollywood blockbusters straight to the DVD shelf.
Sloth: "Wait, since when did Angelina Jolie have KIDS?!"
You know this type of person. You encounter them every day on the streets talking about how they just saw "Iron Man," and "How about that Robert Downey Jr., hmm? Can't wait to see him in another project!" You don't have to see every movie on the weekend of its release date, you don't even have to know the names of the actors in it. But if you insist on promoting the fact that you just "discovered" the brilliance of "Juno," you need to seriously re-evaluate your timetables.
Wrath: Not knowing your gangsters
In 1972, "The Godfather" Tommy-gunned its way into cinemas, showing the full breadth and power the gangster genre was capable of covering. From it have sprung Martin Scorsese's most popular work, biopic "Goodfellas," cult classic "Scarface" and Quentin Tarantino's mind bending "Pulp Fiction." Gangsters have additionally reached into television, most notably with the recently concluded HBO series "The Sopranos," which made its mark as the Museum of Modern Art's first exhibited TV program. To not be acquainted with this imperishable genre of film is to miss out on some of the most well regarded movies ever produced and also denying yourself the brief chance to revel in the wrong being so deliciously right.
Gluttony: Over-consumption of gossip
I'll be the first to openly admit it: I love Perez Hilton. Although I bask in the self-declared "Queen of all Media's" artistic takes on poking fun at egotistical celebrities, his is the only celebrity gossip blog I can stand to consistently view. Still, I hide my love of Perez from new acquaintances for fear of being labeled a "celebrity whore," the most devastatingly insulting title that can ever be bestowed upon an entertainment lover. There are certain things that should be enjoyed in private - sex, porn and excessive celebrity gossip.
Pride: The classics snob
No one cares that you can recite Orson Welles' entire filmography or that you know the exact camera angles for every shot in "Casablanca." While classics of the cinema rightly should be respected and viewed by even a casual movie lover, refusing to discuss the latest "Watchmen" developments or Coen brothers productions in favor of giving an in depth commentary of Cary Grant's vocal inflection is just irritating. Lighten up and go discover the wonders of color television.
Greed: Bragging about illegal downloads
As someone who has personally spent thousands of dollars completing her extensive DVD collection, I get aggravated when I hear a friend gloat to me about how she just downloaded the entire Stanley Kubrick collection off Limewire. While artists themselves don't reap many direct monetary gains from the sale of CDs or DVDs, it's still illegal to obtain these products without reciprocation. And please, if you do insist on continuing this practice (according to some studies, 50 percent of you do), don't think of yourself as a "revolutionary" because of it. The storming of the Bastille was revolutionary. Mick Jagger was revolutionary. Lazing about in your office chair pressing a "download" button is a far cry from warranting this title.
Lust: Chick flicks
Chick flicks are the leeches of the sophisticated cinematic world, rexperiencing a revival again and again at the box office and on DVD. Just when you think you've severed its head, another one, identical in all forms, grows back in its place. The most perfect oxymoron conceivable is an "innovative romantic comedy." Every possible relationship faux pas or happy ending known to man has now been commercialized and placed into one of these sappy drudge-fests. Waste time watching one at the risk of your own brain cells.
Envy: Stuck in the "good ol' days"
Yes, we've heard it all before. We may even agree with some of it. The films today are all unoriginal trash, none of the musicians out there nowadays will ever compare to Iggy Pop and culture itself is degrading into a mindless dredge of trash and dullness. But constantly harping about your jealousy and love of the "good ol' days" isn't going to change any of that. Pop culture isn't something that can just be lost to the depths of time; it's constantly progressing and open to alteration. If you have such an issue with what it is producing, go out there yourself and create a new uprising. Entertainment is waiting for you. Maybe someday you'll even get a pop culture sin of your very own...
You can reach this columnist at thescene@theeagleonline.com.
