In its latest ploy since asking ice cream powerhouse Ben and Jerry's to make Cherry Garcia from human breast milk, the prominent animal rights group, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, wants to change the way we think about fish. How? By calling them "sea kittens" and fishing "sea kitten hunting." It's an image that tugs at the heartstrings of land kitten lovers everywhere.
PETA's Web site is adorned with cute animations of fish with cat ears and little kitten noses. It demands: "Would people think twice about ordering fish sticks if they were called sea kitten sticks?" So we began to wonder whether a rose by any other name really does smell as sweet. The first whiff of it smells like impenetrable jargon and doublespeak.
And yes, it smells fishy.
Not that that's new. Businesses for years have used rebranding to confront perceived "image" problems. Back in 1991, Kentucky Fried Chicken, trying to get the passé "fried" out of its image, changed its name to KFC. And it might even have worked, so long as you're willing to assume the 22 percent increase in profits following the change is attributable to the name alone.
When it comes to jargon, the chicken company is hardly unique. Take Philip Morris Companies, Inc. In 2003, the infamous tobacco company defenestrated its former moniker and magically became Altria Group, Inc., derived from the Latin for "high." It claimed it chose the name to highlight "strong performance," though some other related and slightly illegal substances also come to mind.
If tobacco gets a rebrand and chicken gets a makeover, can fish get a new fashion? PETA's absurd sea kitten campaign might just prove effective in raising awareness for a cause. After all, rebranding is standard fare in the seafood market. See Patagonian toothfish on a menu and it sounds like a horror movie, but call it Chilean sea bass and suddenly you're asking for a side of rice pilaf.
We don't think PETA is seriously intent on changing the name of the Osteichthyes class. It just wants to get the message out about the serious and immediate problem of overfishing. It's a noble cause indeed. Almost 80 percent of Earth's fisheries are fully- to over-exploited, depleted or in a state of collapse. Worldwide, about 90 percent of the stocks of large predatory fish are already gone.
So our point is that, unless something is done ... No, cancel that. Unless we do something, stocks of all species currently fished for food are predicted to collapse by 2048.
The destruction of the world's fisheries means species will be fished out, leaving coastal communities devastated as their financial livelihood - not to mention their main source of food - vanishes. The collapse of fisheries also means a major reduction in the biodiversity of the ocean, and in turn, the planet. We're on the verge of eliminating what took millions of years of evolution to create. Does anyone have a problem with that? Fish need help, and fast.
Which brings us back to PETA and sea kittens. While any publicity is good publicity, we can't help but think that PETA's cutesy rebranding techniques detract from this very real problem. We admit: it's all too easy to dismiss PETA's message by chalking it up to "treehugger" propaganda. And this does a disservice to the actual problem at hand.
More generally, laws should be tightened so that companies infamous for good reason can't evade public scrutiny simply by changing the name on their letterhead or the label on their packaging. Altria still makes cigarettes, the chicken is still fried and sea kittens are still just fish.
Ben Moss and Brittany Meyer are students in the Washington College of Law and columnists for The Eagle. You can reach them at edpage@theeagleonline.com.
