W4TS - Baby Just Say Yes Self-aware hipster girl seeks hipster girl who doesn’t upstage my hipsterness, not that you can. Must (ironically) enjoy Taylor Swift and R&B mash-ups. Must be able to see boyshorts through torn skinny jeans, which will end up on my floor anyway.
M4W - Back from Abroad, Lookin’ for a Broad Brimming with sardonic wit and is looking for a lady who doesn’t mind that my skinny tie and vest match better than your purse and shoes. Likes arts and crafts, and by crafts I mean rolling my own cigarettes.
W4M - For Your Entertainment Can sing, dance and give unsolicited sensual massages when you least expect it. Suitors must not like Coco Puffs, Coco Channel or hot coco, as I am still lamenting the loss of The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien.
W4M - Something Up My Sleeve Decorated grammar veteran looking for a hell-vetica of a lover. Must enjoy China and coffee, but not necessarily at the same time.
M4HW - Looking for My Punk Rock Princess Don’t let the Detroit Tiger’s cap fool you. I may be a sports man by day, but I can rock out all night to the sounds of Fall Out Boy and Paramore. Anyone who is not Hayley Williams need not apply.
K4J - Seasons of Love Looking for someone to get LOST with on Tuesday nights. Must enjoy Christmas, sweaters and Christmas sweaters any month of the year. Cold hands looking for a warm heart.
W4M - Make Your Bed Alterna-Rock Looking for a physics boy so I can say that We Are Scientists. Hates the cold but loves the Arctic...Monkeys. Does not like meat or Taylor Swift.
W4M - Popping the Culture A fan of cute dresses - on me, not on you. Looking for a coffee mate, Blackberry required. Hates dropping g’s, unless that’s what the date costs. Does not dip pen in company ink.
M4AP - Masters More Than the Web Journalism fanboy who enjoys brisk walks around the second floor of Mary Graydon Center. Will do anything for a good story, unless I’m eating dinner - then hold on a second. Will insert my HTML in your page, if you know what I mean.
M4W - Looks Somewhat Like the Man of Your Dreams Bass seeking soprano. Enjoys themed T-shirts that speak to my personality and general interests. Seeking the female Bret to my smooth Jemaine or Fly to my Jeff Goldblum.
M4AH - The Cat’s Meow Editor looking for pussy... cats. Must enjoy feline company and the Federalist papers. Must not like Mexican food; I am not welcome in Guapo’s. Females only, unless Alexander Hamilton is still alive and interested.
W4M - SNOOKIN’ FOR LOVE LOVES NEWSPAPERS AND GETTING SH*T DONE. LIKES TO PARTY AND WHEN WE PARTY WE WILL PARTY HARD. THINKS NEW JERSEY IS WHERE AWESOME IS BORN. Excellent grammar skills are also appreciated.
W4G - Sex on Fire Fiery ginger does not seek the same. Must have New York sensibilities and love being gangster. Has a way with words. Sometimes. Answers open-ended questions in a timely fashion.
W4M - Belle of the Ball Southern belle looking for well-mannered Yankee. Likes to kick balls around; big fan of soccer. Seeks man with personality as big as my hair.
W4M - Wants to Be Respectful Sexy bitch seeking David Guetta. Enjoys dirty dancing in inappropriate places and harassing officials via e-mail.
W4LOL - Can haz u? Shorty can haz LOLcats luv this valuntinez day? Must have shawt klawz and enjoi teh ceiling. Om nom nom.
M4W - I Want To Be Moderately Amused By Your Intelligence Looking for extremely smart girl. But not, like, in your face smart. More like, laid back, ‘I understand complicated issues’ smart. You know, but not too opinionated. 4.0 GPA mandatory. Must be bangin’ attractive and like to do weird things.
W4M - Francophile Your Way In My Heart Pixie-haired sweetheart seeks dominatrix-style love. Must enjoy modern art and spanks. Worldly knowledge of literature recommended, but literacy is not important. Must like both France and America, if such a person still exists.
M4W - The Price Could Be Right Willing date anyone with a pulse, French perfume, multiple houses, boats and a Swiss bank account. Houses must be a combined 6,000 square feet. One must be on a large body of water, preferably an ocean.
W4M - I will design an epic punishment for you Looking for enigmatic boytoy who will allow me to completely and utterly dominate him in every aspect of our relationship. Must be comfortable with sitting for long periods of time without any speaking. Fully-stocked leather wardrobe preferred.
W4M - Dial K for Love The dudes are lining up cause they hear I got swagger / But I kick ‘em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger / Boys blowing up my phones, phones / Especially in my place of work ... weird (sung to the tune of “Sous Le Dome Epais”).
M4W- Tear down this wall! ... Between you and me Looking for a place to put my bratwurst. Not-really German stud, looking for a fine looking lady to drink Heineken until her dirndl falls off. Non-communists need not apply
W4M - Immer mit der Ruhe Sexy sorority girl looking to settle down now that I’ve got a job on the steady. Must be in a fraternity and speak fluent German. Am available for dating anytime but Wednesdays and Sundays. Must agree to be quoted in my stories.
W4M - BREAKING: I’m single and waiting for you. Looking for a solid journalist to hold me during journalism. Non-SOC students need not apply, you make me ill. Physical attributes no worry, only concise, opinion-free writing.
W4K - Must make me purr Long-legged blonde who loves kittens. Tough exterior but soft at heart, like my cats’ fur. Must be smoking hot, and also a smoker.
M4Ws - BAM BAM I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM Recent birthday means it is legal for me to go to clubs with fine ladies. I am not very interested in what you are saying, only that you say it while naked in my bed. Don’t fight it ... it’s only science.
M4W - Make your heart shutter Lover of aperture, f-stops and secure digital flash cards. The bigger the lens the better. Looking for someone who will look good on 35mm film.
