"The Back-Up Plan:" B-
Think of Jennifer Lopez’s newest film “The Back-Up Plan” as a mash-up of “Baby Mama” and “Knocked Up,” but not nearly as funny. While it is better than some of the more recent romantic comedies, the two main characters are hardly intriguing enough to keep the plot afloat. It is only the underused supporting cast and outlandish situations the couple face that help carry the film.
The film focuses on a single woman named Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) whose biological clock is ticking — and fast. After failing to find Mr. Right to start a family with, she decides to go ahead and become a mother anyway. On the very same day she has an artificial insemination procedure done, she climbs into the same cab as Stan (Alex O’Loughlin), a handsome cheese farm owner — “He’s a pilgrim?!,” Zoe’s friend Clive (Eric Christian Olsen) exclaims with horror — who dreams of opening a grocery store that only uses sustainable local farm goods.
After fighting over who should get the cab and then both losing it, the pair ride the subway together in silence. As they exit, Zoe is ready to forget him, but it seems Stan does not share the same sentiments. After bumping into each other repeatedly, the two finally decide to go on an impromptu date. After sharing first kiss horror stories, they lean in — right when Stan’s phone rings. Moment interrupted, Zoe flees the scene. It doesn’t take long, however, for her to be convinced by her Nana (Linda Lavin) to give it a try with the guy who just might be the one.
With Stan proving to be that perfect man Zoe’s always dreamed of, it is to her horror she finds out she’s actually pregnant. After a bumpy start, Zoe and Stan try to navigate those nine months with troubles ranging from dresses not fitting to buying a stroller to throwing up at inopportune times. All of this involves Zoe getting more and more excited while Stan becomes more freaked out by all the future costs, which winds up with him having a breakdown while making pancakes in the middle of the night.
However, Zoe and Stan are blandly written characters, only made interesting by the actors portraying them who try in vain to give them depth. The script paints them to be almost too perfect to be real and portrays their love as unquestionable despite not having been fully developed. While Zoe is eager to have a baby, it seems she has not even thought about what that would entail. Stan is presented as the good-looking, knight in shining armor that plans the most perfect dates. And despite being continuously betrayed by his ex-wife, he is ready to jump into a relationship with Zoe with no hesitation.
It is the supporting cast that really shines whenever they make their brief appearances. From the pet store employees Clive and Daphne (Noureen DeWulf) to Melissa McCarthy’s Carol, the leader of the zany single mom support group, they all add their own crazy style despite their small parts. It is also Mona (Michaela Watkins) who injects humor at just the right moments. A mother herself, she is the one who delivers the realities of pregnancy to a naïve Zoe, her longtime best friend, with blunt honesty and sharp wit.
Lopez seems to be using the film as a vehicle back onto the big screen. While not as funny as her previous endeavors, she tries to make the best with what she has and breathe sweetness into the otherwise dull Zoe. O’Loughlin plays the stereotypical perfect man with a certain charm that had girls in the audience sighing dreamily. It will most likely be Lopez’s star power and O’Loughlin’s striking looks that draw crowds to the film. The film itself acknowledges this; Lopez’s famous rear end gets special notice when Zoe laments how her butt used to look hot pre-pregnancy. To prove it to Stan, she whips out a picture of her bikini-clad bottom. Girls also gets a little eye candy in the form of a bare-chested O’Loughlin as he rides around on his tractor. His abs are so distracting that Zoe, in a daze, crashes her car into a tree.
For those wary about labor, there is a childbirth scene that petrifies both Stan and Zoe. While not as scarring as the one in “Knocked Up,” it will definitely have girls in the audience swearing off ever giving birth and have the boyfriends who were dragged to the film thanking God they aren’t female.
The film is perfect for those wanting to see a breezy romantic comedy with a few laughs and “aw” moments. Everyone else should simply fall back on to their back-up movie.
“The Back-Up Plan” opens everywhere Friday.
You can reach this writer at thescene@theeagleonline.com
