TODAY'S TOP RANT: Due to aptitude testing, my likely career will be serial killer bait.
• To the person who complained about athletes taking the elevator one floor up: You can't imagine how much of a difference those sixteen or so steps make when you've already run 11 or 12 miles that day. It might not seem like too much of an effort to you, but trust me, sometimes it's HUGE. Stop worrying about your “rep.” We're tired and we don't care what anyone thinks. :)
• I love how AMERICAN University is now repping a 24-hour McDonalds on weekends. Supersize Me and all, Americans still love fast food. Especially the drunk ones.
• I thought college was about psychedelics and orgies.
• Whats wrong with multiple significant others.
• So there's this kid that follows me around whenever I go somewhere on campus ... But I don't hate him for it. He eats with me in TDR, studies with me in the library and speaks as a third party in every conversation I have. Sometimes, when it's dark in my room and I'm lying in bed, I feel like he's there in the room with me. I'm thinking about introducing myself sometime soon. Maybe I can be friends with my roommate.
• There are some big nerds at this school. WONK.
• WHY do the AU shuttles to/from the Metro run soooo infrequently? I am a grad student who works all day and goes to class at 8 at night. When I get out at 10:40pm it would be a BIG help if the school would acknowledge the late classes and send a shuttle by the Ward Circle around 10:45 p.m. instead of 10:30 or much much later since the D.C. Metro is already screwing me and all of my public-transportation reliant classmates by only running trains pretty much every 30 minutes, if not more. Bottom line- send another bus or two out around the time late classes get out so we have SOME HOPE of making a Metro train or bus to get home before midnight.
• Hey mc2 hater I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish but MCDOWELL 2 IS ONE OF THE BEST FLOORS OF ALL TIME.
• I feel so alone.
• $1,500 to Queers and Allies, but over $2,000 to the Republicans?
• Can people stop being so loud in the library?
• REALLY?!?! You're going to spam the entire SIS Listserv to say you have a crockpot for sale? Like we don't get enough junk in our inbox daily. So not cool.
• Why does TDR have to put chili pepper on all the potatoes and green beans? I'm trying to be a good boy and eat my veggies, but the spiciness is making that very difficult.
• Today I got a spam message telling me that I was wanted. This is the closest I have gotten to a compliment in a long time and it made me feel special.
• 10 days until sex...
• Dear every uppity people that take the free and oh-so-helpful TDR mints, It's really not cool to throw your wrappers on the ground/stairs when leaving. I do not work at TDR but I can't imagine that the people who do enjoy picking up your trash or having your superiority complex THROWN IN THEIR FACES. There are trashcans right next to you. Try one of those. Sincerely, a girl who would rather throw away your uggs, ray bans, and north face fleece instead. EDITOR'S NOTE: Second this rant! I never understood why people thought that was OK.
• I was really flattered that you enjoyed my humor enough to have me come back for a second audition. I was REALLY not flattered when you then squashed my dreams of being as funny as you guys. I hope that you telling us to come back next semester isn't a sick joke, but a sincere invitation to try again because clearly I'm the best. clearly. Yours, An unhappy comedian.
• I want a mystical man with mystical features. Unfortunately, he missed my call. I’m sorry about that.
• I miss my cat. And my dog. And my mom.
• Dear Hot guy that drove me to the frat party Saturday night, The way you handled your car was so sexy it gave me the shivers. We had such a great conversation about our mutual secret love for watching iCarly. When will you finally get the nerve to accept my iCarly date request?
• Dear Phonathon Caller across the Room from me, I LOVE YOUR VOICE! Talk to me instead of the alumni from across the country.
• The new SIS building is great and everything except for the fact that I got stuck in an elevator and stairwell because it was past 11. If you're gonna let us stay in the building past 11 please let us GET OUT.
• THESE are the best years of my life?!?! If so, my life is gunna suck.
• To those who insist on using Letts 6 North's bathrooms and laundry rooms who do NOT live on Letts 6 North: We are usually friendly people, but we would appreciate it if you would use your own bathrooms and laundry machines instead of ours. We understand if your machinery is broken, but if you're just using our facilities because yours are busy ... imagine how we feel? If yours are "too far away"...deal with it. Thank you for understanding. Sincerely, Some slightly-peeved Letts 6 North residents
• Can we lighten restrictions on videography equipment on campus? There are a lot of students interested in using this material, but there's too much red tape in loaning out equipment. AU students are creative and passionate filmmakers...why not let them have a go at making something of their ideas?
• You know what I love about the AUCC? They provide extensive oversight as to how our money is being spent-- showing us how much each club gets, making all the information public. That's more than we can say for SG, who gets over $500,000 a year and we never see how they spend a penny of it. Not to mention, the AUCC has better ads than SG. EDITOR'S NOTE: http://www.theeagleonline.com/news/story/sg-releases-first-quarterly-report-of-fiscal-year/
• To the Leonard 2 Freshmen: it was nice of you to suggest for the sophomores to socialize with you ... maybe if you left your doors open once in a while and didn't get confused when someone attempted a smile at you, they would! It's a two-way road but definitely worth it!
• I like my neighbors and all. They're good people. But when they start talking very loudly at 8 a.m. when I have a 9:55, it's kind of annoying. Can we try to get better insulation in the dorms somehow?
• Dear Loud Obnoxious Sorority Girls in the Library, I know this isn't the quiet floor but like, if you're stalking people on Facebook and freaking out about it, can you not yell and scream every two seconds? Sincerely, A Student Just Trying to Get Some Work Done.
• Facebook is down ... how do I know I still have friends? I'm freaking out right now.
• To the Dav worker who acted like I maced him when I have him a credit card: Grow the hell up.
• No one else understands me or feels me pain.
• I will never cram for an exam again. I will never cram for an exam again.I will never cram for an exam again. I will never cram for an exam again. I will never cram for an exam again. I will never cram for an exam again. I will never cram for an exam again. I will never cram for an exam again.
• Dear College of Arts and Sciences: How do you expect me to become a good musician when you have these sub-par non-Steinway pianos? Would a Kogod student be forced to read The National Enquirer rather than Wall Street Journals? No. But the music majors can.
